Misdiagnosis Misdiagnosis by mobiusklein Gregory House stared at the man who had just saved him from being mugged on the streets of Metropolis. Oh my God, he thought as he took a gander at the bright colors the man was wearing, he's color blind! "Are you all right?" "I'm the picture of health," House snapped. "Have you seen my cane?" The man disappeared and appeared. "Here you go. Perhaps you shouldn't walk around with a silver cane. The area isn't exactly great . . ." The man disappeared and House looked around to see the mugger tied to a nearby telephone pole. At the medical conference, he received confirmation that there was a local vigilante named Superman who often came to people's rescue. "So," said House. "He's not paid to do what he's doing?" "That's right," said Dr. Brian Bingley. "He's doing this out of the goodness of his heart, completely altruistic," said House. "Yeah." "And what's with the suit he's wearing." "Well, he's an alien . . ." "I don't know of any countries that use that much spandex in their native costume." Brian sighed. "He's an alien from outer space." "Ah, that makes it crystal clear." Seeing the disbelief written all over House's face, he said, "No, really, he's from outer space." "And you believe this, why?" "Because he can fly. Half the city has seen him do it." House gave him a look. "A jet pack does not an alien make." "He can lift cars over his head." "He probably stole one of Lexcorp's power suits," said House, remembering an article in Military Prototypes monthly. Brian scowled. "Honestly." "I just wouldn't be too thrilled with the idea of a colorblind man running around in a spandex-covered power suit claiming that he's from outer space. Besides, there's another condition that could cause all that." "Oh, what?" "Kryptonitis." "Kryptonitis?" "Exposure to a particular kind of meteorite and a large energy source has been known to cause mutations that occur as a kind of wish fulfillment. I suppose the man flying around town may have been reading too many comic books and decided to juggle meteorites during a thunderstorm." "Oh, come off it, that's not a real disease!" The End If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to mobiusklein Also, why not join Level Three, the Smallville all-fic list? Back Level Three Records Room