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 by mobiusklein

 

 

  

 Dear Bio-Daddy, 

 When I told you to take care of your marriage and go back to your wife,
that was a test. You weren't supposed to go back to HER, you were supposed
to scold your wife and tell her that of course I would be your first
priority. After all, you abandoned me even before I was born. At least my
parents didn't leave me until I was three. I can't believe I was thrown
away by two of my fathers. You owe me eighteen years of love and devotion
and I want compound interest! 

 I should be first priority over your wife because I am related to you by
blood while she is not. I am your DAUGHTER. After all, my aunt is less
important to me than you because you are my biological father and thus
more closely related to me. It doesn't matter that she spent 13 thankless
years raising me and that your wife has spent nearly that amount of time
putting up with you and bearing your children. It is clear that your
obligation to me and my devotion to you should outrank both of theirs. 

 You have the opportunity of a lifetime to make things up to me. Weep,
sob, honk. Since my `sister' threw me out by leaving her house and going
into hiding to save her life without a THOUGHT to how I would be
inconvenienced as to where I would live once I came back, you may have the
honor of taking me into your house. I'm sure there will be room enough for
me once your wife and my half-siblings have been hustled out the door.
With a little luck, I will be introducing you to your future son-in-law
within the year and you will be the father of the prettiest bride of
Smallville and proudly walk her down the aisle. Your soon-to-be ex-wife
and my half-siblings may also attend. 

 Your daughter forever and ever, Lana 

 Dear dead mom and dead cuckolded pseudo-dad, 

 I no longer have anything to say to you as I have replaced you with
Clark. You abandoned me for the past fifteen years anyway, so I am still
angry with you but I will sweetly forgive you and no longer spend every
night scolding you for doing so. I will now spend every night scolding my
"sister," my ex-boyfriend Clark, and the new object of my greed, er,
desire, Lex for not being there for me in my time of dire emergency. I
prefer talking to live people anyway as they coo and pamper me and shower
with gifts to make me be quiet about you two. 

 No longer your daughter, Lana	 
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