by yellowsummer

All thanks go out to Lolita Luthor who did an awesome job beta-ing this fic. Also to Margie and Mys who always encouraged me to write.
I'd love feedback! It's what keeps me going!

There used to be a time when their kisses meant something. When his smiles were genuine and only reserved for her. When his touches evoked intense and deep emotions in her and not fear and loneliness.

When loving him didn't seem like such a struggle.

She can't remember the last time they had been together without him rushing off under lame pretenses. Or coming later than he has promised. She prefers the latter option because it usually means he'll be staying for a while. She always knows when he's coming from him. His hair is more ruffled than usual, the clothes more crumpled, the expression on his face more tender. He smiles and talks differently, his laughter is louder than normally. It's always the same. She waits all night to feel his kiss only to be rewarded with a light peck on her lips. She can taste Clark, a mixture of candy and something else, almost alien but still familiar. He's always tasted like this and it's the only thing that she has left of him. But for how long? She can already trace hints of something completely different on his lips, someone different. And every time their lips meet the hints become more than that.

Lana knows, one day all she'll be able to taste on Clark will be Lex.

But she doesn't care for now as long as Clark always returns to her. And she believes he will. She wants to believe that he won't abandon her like so many others have before. It doesn't matter that he has stopped loving her a long time ago. What counts is that he never left in the first place.

She puts her arms around his neck, pressing her body into him and flicking her tongue lightly over his earlobe. She nibbles slightly while one of her hands moves to touch his lean chest. Clark gasps slightly, knowing her tiny licks promise more. He cradles her face and presses his lips on hers once again. This time more urgent and needy. His kisses are fierce and bruising but she doesn't mind and reciprocates. Their tongues entwinded, she slips her hand under his shirt, slowly tracing his nipples with her fingers. While she kneads the sensitive area, he settles on her neck, biting and kissing his way down to her shoulder. She feels his shallow breathing and continues twitching his nipples harder, intent on making him squirm. Determined on making him forget that there can be anyone else in his life but her. Clark grips her hard, pushing her away a little. For a moment she thinks, that's it, but then she feels herself being moved towards the bed. He lays her carefully on the bed, the contrast to his prior harshness can't be any bigger. He cautiously unbuttons her blouse, all the while keeping his gaze locked on hers. His expression, ranging from mischievious to lustful, is too much to bear and she has to look away and press her face into the sheets. The scent of flowers greets her and she is glad it manages to erase Lex's masculine smell from her mind. She feels Clark unlocking her bra and throwing both her blouse and bra across the room. He hisses his breath for a moment before he envelops her firm breasts and starts teasing them. Lana feels a wetness engulfing one of her nipples and risks a glance into Clark's direction. His tongue is darting across her breasts, leaving wet lines behind. She squeezes her eyes shut, the image too much to bear.

Clark starts unbuttoning her pants, never stopping with his ministrations. She wonders where he learned to seduce with such an expertise but her train of thoughts comes to a screeching halt when she thinks of the only plausible answer. She isn't supposed to think about this but she wonders whether Clark touches Lex the same way. Are his touches more tender? Rougher? Wilder? More passionate? She imagines him tearing off Lex's clothes, fumbling with his nipples, making Lex writhe underneath him, cooing soft spoken words into his ear while entering him.

A wet line trickles down her face, her hand immediately moving up, trying to brush the tears off. This is not the time to cry. She rubs her face frantically, struggling to fight off more tears threatening to fall. And then she feels Clark's hand touch her face, his lips close to her ear whispering reassurances, words she longs to hear from him. She knows he is lying but she thinks lies are easier to deal with than the truth.

A finger slips into her wet folds, circling her clit, teasing her relentlessly. Her body flushes, her face suddenly so hot she can hardly breathe and she wonders whether she looks as out of control as she feels. She writhes underneath Clark, her thighs bumping into his hard cock, still concealed by a layer of clothes. She doesn't know what drives her over the edge, Clark's unrelenting rhythm stroking her clit or the knowledge that she can still make him hard, make him want her. Or maybe it's Clark's lips suddenly on her mouth, kissing her deeply, manipulating her into believing it is her he wants. It is working. It does every time. She comes with a scream, her limbs moving spastically and helplessly. She bucks into Clark's hand, his continuous stroking bringing her to a painful and intense orgasm. A few deep breaths later she opens her eyes slowly, a blush creeping to her face when she sees Clark sitting between her legs, looking at her tenderly. The way he used to look at her all the time. Before Lex.

She takes his hand, his palms sweaty and a little shaky and she just knows what he needs right now. She straightens herself and moves in to kiss him longingly all the while slowly pinning him to the bed. He must have taken off his shirt a while ago because all she can see is his muscular, bare chest. She touches the flesh adoringly, loving the way his skin feels underneath her fingers. The way his nipples twitch when she strokes them, the way he hisses his breath when she licks the area around his navel. She slips her tongue downwards, passing the fine hairline into the waistband of his pants. He trembles a little and she feels ecstatic, in control, savouring the fact that she can still bring out these sensations in him. Clark moves his hand towards his pants, frantically trying to get them off but failing miserably so Lana decides to take a break and helps him pull off his remaining clothes. He is naked now, his sturdy erection pressing into her belly while she kisses him again. She feels a few drops of liquid leaking from his cock, painting patterns on her skin and she smiles sweetly into the kiss. Freeing herself from his demanding kisses she moves downwards again, hesitating only a moment before stretching her tongue out and touching the slit of his cock with the peak of her tongue. He tastes salty and sweet at the same time, like he always does. When he moans softly she decides to take the next step and grab his cock with one of her hands. She starts stroking his length slowly, trying to lick and swirl her tongue in an equal manner. He groans and writhes underneath her, pressing his groin towards her, pumping his cock into her mouth. She knows he holds back a little, he always does, at least with her. She speeds up her stroking, rubbing her palm along his shaft, her mouth biting and nibbling his sensitive head. She becomes bolder and wraps her mouth tighly around his cock, sucking as if her life depends on it. It doesn't go unnoticed with Clark thrashing on the bed, thrusting fiercely into her and moaning in pleasure. One twitch of his balls and he comes hard, his come spurting into her mouth unexpectantly. She swallows because she is sure he would do it too.

They arrange themselves on the bed with her head nestled on his chest. He kisses her ghostly on the forehead, and wraps his arm around her. She feels safe and loved, as if she is not really on her own, but always wakes up alone.

Not this time though. She opens her eyes and sees Clark sitting on the edge of the bed, struggling with putting on his clothes. He looks younger than he did before, almost innocent, and she realizes that this is the Clark she has fallen in love with. She sits up, her movements causing Clark to look at her.

"You are leaving already?"

"I may be in college but I still have chores at the farm."

She nods emphatically and smiles. He thinks everything would be less difficult and complicated if she weren't like this. This nice and sweet. It makes him feel more guilty not loving her.

"I may not be able to see you as much anymore. I'm moving to Metropolis in a few weeks. Dad said it would be better for me, what with going to college there and all."

Lana's expression is frozen, her heart pounding loudly in her ears. He's abandoning you, too, an evil voice whispers continously. Of course he is, it's not like she hasn't thought about it, not like she hasn't seen it coming. It is just strange to hear the reason. She has conviced herself that he will leave her for Lex one day. Not because for something mundane as going to college. Or maybe Clark just doesn't want to hurt her feelings by saying the truth and revealing the real reason behind his move. But he tells no more lies. He hasn't since the day he told her about his secrets. She remembers feeling special back then, being the only one he confided in and now all there is left is a bitter aftertaste because he surely has told Lex about it too.

"It seems like a good idea."

She manages to say it without sounding too hurt. Something in her gut tells her she has seen the last of Clark. That he will never kiss her the way he did last night, that he will never touch her like he did. And it doesn't help that she knew all along that it would come to this. Suddenly it seems real, it seems too damn real. She gets up and dresses as well, panic rising and creeping up inside her until there is nothing left but fear. And then it just bursts from her.

"Isn't Lex going back to Metropolis in a few weeks as well?"

Clark gulps and fiddles nervously with his shoe's laces.

"Yeah. I think so."

"Then you'll be seeing each other more often."

It doesn't come out as accusing as she has intended. It seems more like a capitulation.

He nods quickly, getting up from the bed and moving awkwardly towards her.

*"How did we get this far apart? We used to be so close together."*

The words strike him hard, not having expected something like this to ever escape Lana's lips. He realizes that as much as he has moved on from her, she hasn't at all from him. And isn't he to blame for it? Leading her on, giving her straws to clutch onto, when in reality he has been Lex's all along?

"Maybe we never were. Maybe you wanted to think we were that close. I'm sorry, Lana."

She looks at him, astonishment and anger radiating off her in waves. She is on the brink of tears, an outburst of rage and Clark digs his hand into his pockets. *He waits for her to understand but she won't understand at all.*

She is huddled on her bed again, her eyes red and puffy from the tears that are falling down her face. She is yelling at him, real anger emerging from her that he has never thought existed in her.

It's the last memory he has of Lana Lang.

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