by Ionah

Thanks to Angela for the beta.
Notes: I don't have a clue how something like this would go in a real hospital. Just remember, it's all in fun and ignore any inconsistencies with real life!
Disclaimer: Don't own them. Wish I did. I'd have my very own Smallville porno collection.

Lex groaned, again, and Clark reached over to smooth the damp cloth over his pale forehead. "Dr. Krawley said he'd be back soon, Lex, just hang on, okay?"

Lex mumbled something unintelligible.

Clark leaned closer. "What was that?"

Lex's eyes opened, his wild, glittering gaze catching Clark by surprise. "I said he'd better hurry the fuck up, because I feel like I'm dying here." With that, Lex groaned again and pulled his legs in tight to his belly.

They heard the chart being pulled free of the box hanging on the other side of the door. A moment later, Dr. Krawley strode into the room.

"Mr. Luthor, I didn't expect to see you back so soon."

"I didn't exactly plan to be back so soon myself," Lex muttered under his breath, then followed up with a low moan.

Clark squeezed Lex's hand tightly as he waited for the doctor to finish glancing over the chart.

With a sigh, Dr. Krawley closed the file. "Well, Mr. Luthor, it appears you've ingested something toxic to your system. So far, we've been unable to identify what it is, but it's clear that it's what's causing your severe cramps and nausea. Whatever it is, we believe we can flush it out of your system."

"You're fucking kidding me. The only thing I've had today is--" Lex stopped, his nostril flaring wide, his gaze stabbing toward Clark. "Damn it to hell, this better not mean what I think it means."

Clark's face turned bright red.

The doctor merely looked confused. "Do you have any idea what this substance might be?" he asked.

"No," Lex said sharply. "I don't have any idea."

"Well, I guess we'd better get started then. A nurse will be in here soon to move you to a room. And after your treatment, we'll need to keep you under observation overnight, just in case there are unexpected side effects. We'll also want to make sure you don't become dehydrated."

Clark squeezed his eyes shut. That didn't sound good. Lex was probably ready to kill him this time. But, heck, this time it wasn't his fault. Really, it wasn't.

As soon as the doctor left the small room, Lex turned on Clark. "I can't believe this. I can not fucking believe this, Clark. What are you trying to do, kill me?"

"Hey," Clark said. "It's really not my fault this time! You're the one who decided that we were ready to go without the condoms!"

"Stupid, stupid idea. Why would I ever think anything with you could be normal? First, you break my dick, now you almost poison me with toxic come! Why didn't it occur to me that your body is a walking death trap? Too good--dammit--" Lex grabbed his stomach and curled up around his arms. "To be true."

Clark sighed. "Lex, quit feeling sorry for yourself. Everything's been fine between us for the last two weeks. It's the best sex I've ever had."

"For God's sake, Clark, it's the only sex you've ever had."

"That's not true! That girl Jesse gave me a blow job, you know that."

"Doesn't count," Lex said, flicking his gaze down to Clark's groin. "Besides, it's obvious she didn't swallow."

"We used a condom. And it does too count. And besides, I got a hand job from... well..."

Lex's eyebrow rose questioningly.

Clark raised his chin. "Well, none of your business."

"None of my business, huh?"

"That's right, none of your business."

"We'll see about that, if you ever want a piece of this ass again."

"That's not fair!"

"You know as well as I do that I don't always--dammit--" Lex groaned again, and sweat popped out on his forehead. "Play fair. Where's the fucking nurse? I want to get this over with."

"She'll probably be here soon. Now quit yelling and try to relax."

"Do you know what I'm going to have to go through as a result of this?"

Clark shrugged. "Not really."

Just then there was a short knock on the door. A tall, brunette woman in a nurse's uniform walked into the room. She placed a small tray of supplies on the counter in the corner, and then smiled at Clark and Lex.

"Mr. Luthor," she said, her tone friendly. "I'm Lacy. I think your friend should step outside for a moment. Then you can drink this." She pointed to a tall bottle filled with a orangish liquid. "And then we'll get that suppository in, okay?"


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