Metropolis Confidential

by Viv


Just an idea I had on the way home from work. Hopefully, a piece of fluff that brings a smile to your face. If not, just ignore it. ;-D Feedback always welcome!


From: Chloe Sullivan <csullivan@metu.edu> To: lex.luthor@luthorcorp.com
Date: Wed, 20 Jul 2005 11:00 AM ET
Subject: Great to catch up

Lex,

How are you? It was great to catch up with you last night. I swear, Clark was just moaning to me how we never get to see you any more - at least, not since you've taken up the mantle of running your corporate empire and all. How's that going anyway?

Okay, down to business. Call me crazy, but I'm actually thinking of taking you up on your offer - you know, the part about a leisurely interview with you to help me out with my summer internship at the Planet and not the part about ... well, never mind.

I know you're crazy busy these days running the LuthorCorp empire and all, so just get back to me whenever. Or let your secretary get back to me whenever. I mean, hopefully before the end of the day. Or maybe by the end of the summer. Either way is cool.

Okay, so needing a caffeine break right now,

Chloe


From: Lex Luthor <lex.luthor@luthorcorp.com> To: Chloe <csullivan@metu.edu>
Date: Wed, 20 Jul 2005 12:00 PM ET
Subject: Re: Great to catch up

Hi Chloe,

I'm fine, thanks for asking. How are you?

Colour me surprised to have received your email. Honestly, when I uttered those fateful words last night of 'maybe I'll let you interview me sometime' never in my wildest dreams did it translate into 'why don't you interview me for the Planet today'. But having said that, I do seem to remember that I owe you an interview, as I seem to recall our first and only interview ending with you being (unfortunately of course) thrown out of my study window.

But I can't promise anything. I'm so busy these days that I have to schedule an appointment with myself, but ... we'll see. I'll have Linda (my assistant) check for times on my schedule. Does that satisfy you?

On the upside, it certainly was good to catch up with you, Clark and Lana last night. I've been so busy this past year that I've had trouble distinguishing where work ends and my life begins. You're still going to be a reporter aren't you? Ambition is a good thing to have, but so is determination and drive. Let this be my parting words of wisdom to you on this bright and sunny day.

Regards
Lex


From: Chloe Sullivan <csullivan@metu.edu> To: Lex <lex.luthor@luthorcorp.com>
Date: Wed, 20 Jul 2005 4PM ET
Subject: Re: Great to catch up

Lex,

Well, I honestly didn't think you'd go for it. But 'we'll see' is a lot better than 'not in this lifetime, not ever' so I'm kinda glad. Colour me grateful! ;-D

Sorry for the dig. But seriously, do you really write like that? I mean, with all the 'regards' and the 'words of wisdom' and all? I know I'm still relatively young and uninitiated in the ways of the world, but ...

Okay, okay I'll stop now. I'm onto my fourth cup of coffee which is to say, I'm kinda hyped and raring to go. Which is kinda sad really, since I'm sitting here at my pathetically small desk with absolutely nothing to do and I'm way too juiced to go to do some research on a story or anything as sensible as that right now. Which is why I'm speed typing my way through this email, repeatedly insulting my one and only chance to journalism greatness and all its attendant fascinations. Sorry Lex!! Pretty please forgive me, with the hugest juiciest cherry on top? ;-D

I can see that we're not going to make any headway on this interview thing. Lucky we're friends then!

<<You're still going to be a reporter aren't you? Ambition is a good thing to have, but so is determination and drive.>>

What made you say all that stuff? I know from Clark that you tend to get philosophical and moody at times, which seems pretty interesting, until you scratch that shiny silver-as-new surface to discover the grit and dirt lurking underneath. Not that I'm saying you're dirty or anything like that. Not at all.

Seriously though, to answer your question - yeah, I'm still gunning to be a top rate reporter one day. That's why I'm suffering through this hell called interning at the Planet this summer, instead of hopping around the world or going back to Smallville like Clark and Lana. I think that ambition and determination are inextricably linked, and there's no use having one without the other. I'm sure you understand. Frankly, I don't think many people in Smallville does.

Anyway, thanks for the quick reply. Don't be a stranger!

Chloe


From: Lex Luthor <lex.luthor@luthorcorp.com> To: Chloe <csullivan@metu.edu>
Date: Wed, 20 Jul 2005 8:00 PM ET
Subject: Re: Great to catch up

Chloe,

At the risk of making myself sound painfully vulnerable, it was great to read a friendly message amidst the barrage of warring words I've had hurled at me today. You'd think that a LuthorCorp offer of buying soon to be redundant shares at a good 5 cents above market price would be met with joy, not scorn and hate felt with "a passion of a thousand suns" (the current majority shareholder's words, not mine obviously). Even though it might have been viewed as a hostile takeover by LuthorCorp, but can't people remain calm and civilised regardless? I was honestly fearing for my life.

<<Sorry for the dig. But seriously, do you really write like that? I mean, with all the 'regards' and the 'words of wisdom' and all? I know I'm still relatively young and uninitiated in the ways of the world, but ... >>

Young and uninitiated Chloe? Well, I might just be able to help you out there. And yes, that's the way I really write. I tend to think it paints me with a poetic lustre. ;-D

<<What made you say all that stuff? I know from Clark that you tend to get philosophical and moody at times, which seems pretty interesting, until you scratch that shiny silver-as-new surface to discover the grit and dirt lurking underneath. Not I'm saying you're dirty or anything like that. Not at all. >>

Well thanks ... I think. It's not really very flattering, is it?

<<I think that ambition and determination are inextricably linked, and there's no use having one without the other. I'm sure you understand. Frankly, I don't think many people in Smallville does. >>

I agree with equal (or maybe even more) frankness. They are inextricably linked, because one cannot achieve greatness without great sacrifice and hard work. But at the same time, one cannot overcome the obstacles that life throws in your path without some high degree of determination.

Have a good night.

Lex

PS. I have dropped all 'regards' and 'words of wisdom' for fear of being ridiculed by a certain blonde Planet intern.


From: Chloe Sullivan <csullivan@metu.edu> To: Lex <lex.luthor@luthorcorp.com>
Date: Wed, 20 Jul 2005 11:00PM ET
Subject: Re: Great to catch up

Lex,

Two emails from you on the same day! Aren't I the luckiest intern in the world? ;-D

I've had a god awful day. You know I was telling you how juiced I was on caffeine this afternoon? Well, the inevitable happened - I totally crashed down from it, and to add insult to caffeinated injury, Perry (the editor) suddenly realised I had jack all to do, and started heaping all this research stuff on me, which would have been fine under normal conditions, but obviously not when I was coming off a caffeine rush so high it rivals Mount Everest in sheer magnificence.

And to add insult to even more painful injury, I've suddenly realised how lonely it is without Lana here. I mean sure, I totally bitch to Clark when she's around, since she manages to take up 99% of the closet space and also, she physically needs these ridiculously long showers which means maximum bathroom hoggage, but I kind of miss having her to talk you, you know? And I can't believe I'm even saying (well, writing) this, but Metropolis isn't really all that fun when you're here without your friends, you know?

Maybe you don't know. I can't imagine it being very lonely way when you're surrounded by people to do your bidding 24/7!

Chloe

PS. We should really get a new subject heading!


From: Lex Luthor <lex.luthor@luthorcorp.com> To: Chloe <csullivan@metu.edu>
Date: Fri, 22 Jul 2005 8:00 AM ET
Subject: A completely new subject heading

Hi Chloe,

Note the new subject heading as requested by you. I think I must be the most obliging multi-billionaire in the world.

So you and Lana don't get along? That's a surprise. I mean, considering the fact that you live together and everything. Haven't you roomed with her for the past two years already? Are you guys fighting over Clark again? (that was a joke, okay?)

Well, your life at the Planet makes mine sound woefully dull and boring. Being head of LuthorCorp isn't actually as glamorous as it sounds. I mean, there are drones to fight off, shareholders to placate and really, very boring deals that must be sealed with people I'd rather feed to a pack of rabid wolves than talk to. But talk I must, for the sake of the company and the world. And also incidentally, me.

<<Maybe you don't know. I can't imagine it being very lonely way when you're surrounded by people to do your bidding 24/7! >>

Believe me Chloe, I most definitely know. Think of it this way - when you're at the top, no matter how well-liked you are, you'll always be alone. Because people put you on some sort of pedestal when you're obscenely rich like I am, for no other reason beside the fact that you are rich. Not for you, or your talents - for your money.

Hope you have a good day.

Lex


From: Chloe Sullivan <csullivan@metu.edu> To: Lex <lex.luthor@luthorcorp.com>
Date: Fri, 22 Jul 2005 10:00AM ET
Subject: Friday Blessed Friday

Friday Blessed Friday!

I never thought I'd see the day when I'd get tired of a news room. Not that I'm really tired of it per se, just want to break out of it for a while. It's such a grind, you know? But hey, I guess as you get older, you'll eventually get to see everything. Well, more stuff anyway.

We seem to be having some sort of strangely Victorian exchange of confidences, aren't we? I mean, it didn't even occur to me to pick up the phone and actually talk to you until now! Not that I'd actually do it right now, since I'm swamped with important stuff like taking down lunch orders and making sure every gets their morning caffeine fix (including me!).

You sound like you're not really enjoying this economic domination of the world very much Lex. I mean, here you are, obscenely rich and all, and ... I don't know, I get the feeling you're kind of lonely. I don't know, just ignore me, I'm talking crazy.

<<So you and Lana don't get along? That's a surprise. I mean, considering the fact that you live together and everything. Haven't you roomed with her for the past two years already? Are you guys fighting over Clark again? (that was a joke, okay?)>>

Oh no, don't get me wrong, I love Lana. I mean, she's one of my best friends. I know we used to have the Clark wall of China thing before, but that's totally over. It's great to have someone to live with and did you know she actually likes the cooking and keeping the house clean stuff? Amazing.

But you know, even the best of friends can get on each other's nerves. Especially after two years of rooming together!

Oh gotta run,

C


From: Lex Luthor <lex.luthor@luthorcorp.com> To: Chloe <csullivan@metu.edu>
Date: Fri, 22 Jul 2005 1:03 PM ET
Subject: A dastardly original proposal

Chloe,

Been swamped with work all morning, and I've only got 2 minutes to type this.

You're right, we should just talk, given the fact that we're living in the same city. Feel like getting something to eat tonight? If so, email me or leave a message with Linda, she'll make the reservations.

Lex


From: Chloe Sullivan <csullivan@metu.edu> To: Lex <lex.luthor@luthorcorp.com>
Date: Fri, 22 Jul 2005 2:06 PM ET
Subject: Re A dastardly original proposal

Lex,

You're on! Of course you're right, we do live in the same city and everything and besides I like to eat now and again!

When and what time?

C


From: Linda Ferguson<linda.ferguson@luthorcorp.com> To: Chloe <csullivan@metu.edu>
Date: Fri, 22 Jul 2005 2:06 PM ET
Subject: On behalf of Mr Luthor

Dear Chloe,

Mr Luthor asked me to inform you that reservations for 2 have been made at Citrus for 7PM.

If you have any questions about this, please contact me.

Kind regards
Linda


From: Lex Luthor <BaldLex@aol.com>
To: Chloe <csullivan@metu.edu>
Date: Sat, 23 Jul 2005 11:24 AM ET
Subject: Dinner

Chloe,

Just wanted to say how refreshing it was talking to you (in person) last night. We should do it more often.

Again, I'm sorry that I was late. I really deplore business meetings, especially when they keep me from having dinner with friends!

Lex


From: Chloe Sullivan <csullivan@metu.edu> To: Lex <BaldLex@aol.com>
Date: Sat, 23 Jul 2005 12:15PM ET
Subject: About the dinner thing

Lex,

Don't worry about it! I know what it's like.

Actually I don't, but you know what I mean!

I agree, it was good to have someone to talk to. What are you doing today (as a matter of curiosity)?

C

PS. Oh my god, your email id is 'bald Lex'? LOL! Why? Before I die from laughing.


From: Lex Luthor <BaldLex@aol.com>
To: Chloe <csullivan@metu.edu>
Date: Sat, 23 Jul 2005 12:30 PM ET
Subject: Saturday Plans

Chloe,

Have you stopped laughing yet? It's my home account. I need to pick something that wasn't going to be easily guessed. There are at any given time a huge number of people trying to hack into my email account you know!

About my plans: I'm not sure. This is actually one of my scheduled weekends off, but I haven't actually planned anything. I think I make a very bad normal person.

What about you?

Lex


From: Chloe Sullivan <csullivan@metu.edu> To: Lex <BaldLex@aol.com>
Date: Sat, 23 Jul 2005 12:15PM ET
Subject: Re Saturday Plans

Lex,

I'm sorry, but ... 'baldlex'? Oh god that got me started again.

Well I'm on the net right now. But I should really get out more - you know, breathing fresh air and becoming part of nature and all. ;-D

Seriously, if you have nothing better to do, you want to hang?

C


From: Lex Luthor <BaldLex@aol.com>
To: Chloe <csullivan@metu.edu>
Date: Sat, 23 Jul 2005 12:30 PM ET
Subject: Re Saturday Plans

I'll call you.


From: Lex <lex.luthor@luthorcorp.com>
To: Chloe Sullivan <csullivan@metu.edu> Date: Fri, 29 Jul 2005 12:58 PM ET
Subject: Friday again

Chloe,

Feel like dinner again tonight? I've just had to deal with bankers that would make loan sharks look like old ladies with broomsticks. I could do with a little cheering up in the form of you!

I talked to Clark last night. What is going on with him and Lana? I know I've been grossly left out of the loop (partly from lack of communication) but really, is that any way to treat an old friend? Is there something I should be informed about regarding those two?

Lex


From: Chloe Sullivan <csullivan@metu.edu> To: Lex <lex.luthor@luthorcorp.com>
Date: Fri, 29 Jul 2005 2:45 PM ET
Subject: Re Friday again

Oh thank God you asked Lex! I was steadily being driven crazy by Sharon (the other intern) and your email came just at the point where I was going to club her senseless with a very blunt object. And be gleeful while committing a fatal assault.

Yes, I'm totally (woefully) free for dinner. I'm so sad! ;-( Not that it's sad having dinner with you of course. You know what I mean.

About Clark and Lana - um yeah. The two dawdling idiots have decided they've done enough waiting around and have decided to give the dating thing a try. But you didn't hear it from me!

C

PS. My god, have we been reduced by the tedium of work to gossiping about our friends? This is so not happening!


From: Lex <lex.luthor@luthorcorp.com>
To: Chloe Sullivan <csullivan@metu.edu> Date: Fri, 29 Jul 2005 3:08 PM ET
Subject: Same time different place?

Chloe,

Dinner same time different place? I'll pick you up at 7. It's just round the corner from my apartment. Hope you like Italian.

I promise I won't be late.


From: Chloe Sullivan <csullivan@metu.edu> To: Lex <lex.luthor@luthorcorp.com>
Date: Fri, 29 Jul 2005 3:16 PM ET
Subject: Re Same time different place?

Lex,

I'm going to hold to you that promise!

No, just kidding.

C


From: Lex <lex.luthor@luthorcorp.com>
To: Chloe Sullivan <csullivan@metu.edu> Date: Fri, 5 Aug 2005 1:28 PM ET
Subject: Regular dinner?

Chloe,

I'm getting a strange sense of deja vu, but do you want to have dinner tonight? I feel like I need to wash the grime of my corporate life off me, and what better way than to enjoy the evening with you?


From: Chloe Sullivan <csullivan@metu.edu> To: Lex <lex.luthor@luthorcorp.com>
Date: Fri, 5 Aug 2005 3:16 PM ET
Subject: Regular dinner is a GO

Lex,

Wow you really know how to make a girl feel appreciated! Sure thing about the dinner. It's getting to be a regular thing with us, isn't it?

I really liked that place you took me to last week. Do you think we could go there again?

C


From: Lex <lex.luthor@luthorcorp.com>
To: Chloe Sullivan <csullivan@metu.edu> Date: Fri, 5 Aug 2005 3:37 PM ET
Subject: Re: Regular dinner is a GO

Chloe,

Sure, no problem. Same time, same mode of transport then.

Lex


From: Chloe Sullivan <csullivan@metu.edu> To: Lex <baldlex@aol.com>
Date: Sat, 6 Aug 2005 12:03 PM ET
Subject: Thanks for the flowers

Wow, did I not just say yesterday that you really know how to make a girl feel appreciated?

In case I didn't say this enough last night, thanks for the flowers. It's very sweet of you. And for the record, I love roses!

C


From: Chloe Sullivan <csullivan@metu.edu> To: Lana <llang@metu.edu>
Date: Sun, 7 Aug 2005 12:01 AM ET
Subject: Need your opinion STAT

LL!

I am so in need of your wise girlie counsel right now. Where is my faithful room mate when I most need her? Back in Smallville! Argh! You do this just to torture the living daylights out of me! So what if you wanted to spend the summer at the one and only home you've ever known? You should be here, counselling me in my hour of need, 'cause I need your sense, and I'm not making any!!!

Okay, I admit that was a bit too self-centred of me. But you know, in the Chloe universe it's all about me. Chloe. 'Cause that's my name.

I am having a crisis - of the male variety. And just so you know, I'm also on my 8th cup of coffee, and I'm beginning to suspect that it's actually physically possible to overdose on caffeine. Because it could be happening to me right now and I'll end up at Metropolis General with an IV drip and one of those stomach pumps, which I've heard are really very painful 'cause they pump charcoal into you and ...

So by now you're probably screaming at the blinking screen, yelling 'just get on with the exposition Chloe!'. Or knowing you, it'd be more 'oh brother, not again. And also, take a breath'. Oh well. At least you're not actually here, listening to me. Thank your God for small blessings.

Okay. Enough small email talk. Down to business. The business of - Lex Luthor.

Oh god. I actually said it. I actually said it, out loud and unabridged to another human being for the first time ever. And instead of feeling liberated, I just really, really foolish.

Goddamnit, I don't know how things got to be this way with me! One minute I was all, wow, aren't the lights in Metropolis so much brighter than they are at Smallville, and the next minute I've unwittingly hopped onto the Lex Appreciation Train from hell. Not that appreciating Lex isn't all that unpleasant, it's just ... well, he's not exactly of the available variety is he? I mean, we've always been friends and all, but he's seen me pull all sorts of wackies, and besides, he probably still thinks of me as the sweet little innocent Chloe from our Smallville High days. Not to mention the fact that he's one of the most eligible bachelors in the world (at least, according to People - quality publication that it is!) and rich enough to buy several third world countries and outfit them with enough food and technology to change them into developed countries - which is to say, that there is no way in all seven circles of hell that he'd even be remotely interested in me.

But he's got such clear blue eyes and that little crooked turn on his mouth when he's just about to smile or when he's trying really hard not to smile but it kinda shows anyway. Not to mention the blindingly obvious fact that he's intelligent and witty, and I have a sneaking suspicion that you're now laughing so hard your sides are going to split, so I'll stop embarrassing myself now.

Did I mention the fact that I feel really foolish right now?

Oh god, oh god. I'm hyperventilating. This is so not of the good. Help me! Help me oh wise mentor! What should I do? What can I do? What do I want to do? There are so many thoughts whirling around inside me at the moment that I think I'm going to explode. Wouldn't that be a sight? Not that you'd really miss my stark raving lunatic-ness all that much, but just think of the huge clean up you'd have to do if I actually exploded and left Chloe bits everywhere.

Which is the most pleasant thought to leave you with, isn't it? Please, please email me, or call me, soon!

C


From: Lex <BaldLex@aol.com>
To: Clark <ckent@metu.edu>
Date: Sun, 7 Aug 2005 1:00 AM ET
Subject: (no subject)

So Clark, I don't have much time since I'm on my way to a video conference downtown, but there's something that's been driving me crazy all day. And when you're the head of one of the largest multinationals in the world, being driven crazy can have far reaching and very unpleasant ramifications.

By the way, how have you been?

Okay, back to the issue at hand. The reason that I've been feeling this way - which is to say, that I've felt that I'm being driven crazy by a very hard task master is - I might as well confess it - a woman.

Yes, laugh all you want, farm boy. Get it all out of your system. I'm a patient man.

Have you quite finished now? This ... woman. I'm afraid there's more to the story than that. You may well be sniggering oh-so-obviously over the fact that Lex Luthor has at last fallen foul of that horrid condition called 'infatuation with a woman', but before you actually die from laughing, you should at least hear the rest of the sordid tale.

Actually, there really isn't all that much sordidness to it. Which is a pity really because with this woman ... sordidness would probably be a good experience.

But I digress. This woman - I might as well just come right out and say it.

It's Chloe. Chloe Sullivan. Intern at the Daily Planet, alumni of Smallville High.

That's all I really had to say.

Lex


From: Clark Kent <ckent@metu.edu>
To: Lex <baldlex@aol.com>
Date: Sun, 7 Aug 2005 1.30AM ET
Subject: Re: (no subject)

Chloe?!?!

Did I read right Lex? Chloe? You're in love with Chloe? My Chloe?

I need to lie down.


From: Lex <BaldLex@aol.com>
To: Clark <ckent@metu.edu>
Date: Sun, 7 Aug 2005 1:32AM ET
Subject: Re: (no subject)

Clark,

And? What, did you forget how to string two words together to form an actual sentence?

Just so that we're clear on the technicalities, I am not in love with Chloe. At least, not yet.

But since we're on the topic - what's the verdict? Am I crazy or crazier? Has running my father's company finally made me - and I'll say it again - crazy?

By the way, do you have a problem with this? Because if you do, please tell me. As I've said many times before, I don't want anything to ruin our friendship.

Lex


From: Clark Kent <ckent@metu.edu>
To: Lex <baldlex@aol.com>
Date: Sun, 7 Aug 2005 1.37AM ET
Subject: Re: (no subject)

Sorry if I freaked out on you Lex. It's just that - I'm freaked. I'm officially freaked out.

Just for the record though, no, I don't have a problem with this. I'm fine. Me and Chloe were ... well, we weren't very good together were we? You were there when the fireworks and nuclear explosions tore us apart. And to coin a very cheesy cliche, it's all water under the bridge anyway. So to reiterate - no, I don't think I have a problem.

But are you sure about this Lex? I mean, I'm not judging or anything, but you do seem to go out with a lot of women. I know Chloe, and she wouldn't want to just have a fling. That is, if she really liked you, which I wouldn't know. I'm not sure you're really her type.

If you want, I could try to find out from Lana tomorrow. I'm pretty sure they talk pretty often. But I can't promise anything, okay?

Clark


From: Lex <BaldLex@aol.com>
To: Clark <ckent@metu.edu>
Date: Sun, 7 Aug 2005 1:45AM ET
Subject: Re: (no subject)

Clark,

Please do. As I said - going crazy.

Let me know what you find out. I should be back and fully rested tomorrow night after 10.

Lex


From: Clark Kent <ckent@metu.edu>
To: Lana <llang@metu.edu>
Date: Mon, 8 Aug 2005 9:01 AM ET
Subject: Where are you?

Hey Lana,

How's it going?

I got this really weird email from Lex yesterday. I mean, getting emails from Lex is already a weird and unusual event in itself, but he just told me all this stuff and now I'm not sure if I can help him. Basically it's about Chloe.

I tried calling you at home, but Nell said you'd already left. When you check your mail, please give me a call okay?

Love,
Clark

PS. Are we still on for tonight?


From: Clark Kent <ckent@metu.edu>
To: Lex <baldlex@aol.com>
Date: Tue, 9 Aug 2005 12:04 AM
Subject: Update on that thing

About Chloe - sorry Lex, I couldn't get a straight yes or no out of Lana . She's really a very generous person, but I don't think she feels right about telling me one way or the other. I mean, I guess I understand her position, if Chloe had confided in me and it was, well, private. And I didn't feel right about pushing it.

Sorry I couldn't help Lex. But if you want my opinion ... Lana wouldn't have been so closed off if there wasn't something to tell, you know what I mean? I mean, if Chloe had never even entertained the idea of you and her, well ... she wouldn't have said anything about it, you know?

Just something for you to think about!

Clark

PS. Do you want me to talk to Chloe about this?


From: Lex <BaldLex@aol.com>
To: Clark <ckent@metu.edu>
Date: Tue, 9 Aug 2005 1:00AM ET
Subject: Re: Update on that thing

Thanks. As subtle as a sledgehammer Clark, but I get your point. At least there could be something to work with. It's better than nothing. Thanks for your help.

I hardly have to tell you that I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone about this? And by 'anyone' I'm including Lana (I know how your mind works Clark). I'll work it out on my own.

Lex

PS. Under no circumstances are you to approach Chloe with this! Do you hear me Clark? I want your blood oath on this!


From: Clark Kent <ckent@metu.edu>
To: Chloe <csullivan@metu.edu>
Date: Wed, 10 Aug 2005 9:00AM ET
Subject: Hi!

Hey Chloe,

How's it going? How's the Planet treating you? You must be having the time of your life as a real life reporter! Wish I was there to see you crack the big time!

Life's fine here on the farm. You know, you think you've pretty much discovered everything there is to know about it after having grown up here all your life, but just the other day when I was out walking with Lana I discovered this patch of wild lilies that I've never seen before. You may think lilies aren't really that much of scoop, but I thought it was pretty interesting. Lana thought so too! :-D

By the way, Lana says hi. Her computer broke down last night and she's waiting for it to be fixed. She says she'll call you tonight after she finishes up at the Talon about 'the thing', whatever that means.

You know, since that last dinner in Metropolis I've been keeping more in touch with Lex. He seems so lonely and I suspect that he's working too hard. He's such a sweet guy. He's always been there to help me out. You know, he's pretty cool that way. What do you think of him?

Anyway, I have to go help dad with some chores. See you and have fun at the Planet!

Clark


From: Chloe Sullivan <csullivan@metu.edu> To: Clark <ckent@metu.edu>
Date: Wed, 10 Aug 2005 10:00 AM ET
Subject: Re: Hi!

Okay Clark, what the hell are you on?! Is this your not-so-subtle way of outing yourself?! Please reply ASAP, 'cause I'm getting seriously freaked out!! Not that you being gay is bad or anything, it's just - oh forget it. Too long a story and it's too freakin' early in the morning to concentrate on forming coherent sentences.

Why are you suddenly espousing Lex's many and diverse virtues? What the hell is going on? Answer me farm boy, on pain of an excruciating and long-drawn out death!

C

PS. If you like Lex so much, why don't you date him??


From: Clark Kent <ckent@metu.edu>
To: Chloe <csullivan@metu.edu>
Date: Wed, 10 Aug 2005 6:00 PM ET
Subject: Re: Hi!

Just so we're clear: I AM NOT GAY!

Lana will testify to the fact, although I think that's probably a little too much information for you to handle right now. Besides, Lex isn't really my type, even though we both know I've got an unholy fixation on people with the initials 'LL'. ;-D

Nothing is going on, I swear! I'm sorry if I offended/startled you into thinking so. You know I have a tendency to just say the stuff on my mind. It's not like this is the first day you've known me. I'm Clark Kent! Bumbling idiot extraordinaire!

It's nothing, honestly ... nothing.

Gotta fly,
Clark


From: Chloe Sullivan <csullivan@metu.edu> To: Clark <ckent@metu.edu>
Date: Wed, 10 Aug 2005 10:31 PM ET
Subject: Re: Hi!

Nice try, Clark. Actually, it was a pretty lame try. It will go down forever into the pantheons of lame. Did you honestly think that I would fall for that famous Kent charm? Or the less-than-subtly-crafted diversion of sledgehammer proportions? I wasn't born yesterday you know! And not even the day before that, or the day before that, or the day before - well, you get my point.

Spill it - now! Or by the time you come back on campus, a vicious rumour will be firmly entrenched regarding a certain Smallville farm boy who has a penchant for women's underwear.

Now Clark! Not tomorrow, not next week, now!


From: Clark Kent <ckent@metu.edu>
To: Chloe <csullivan@metu.edu>
Date: Wed, 10 Aug 2005 10:35 PM ET
Subject: Re: Hi!

<<Spill it - now! Or by the time you come back on campus, a vicious rumour will have been circulated regarding a certain Smallville farm boy who has a secret fetish for women's underwear.>>

You wouldn't!!! Oh god ... you would. Don't do it Chloe!

Well, you don't have to play such hard ball with me. Me, Clark, one third of your triangle of friendship? Lesson for the next time you decide to blackmail someone: there's something to be said for being nice to the people you want something from you know!

Look, I promised I wouldn't say anything, so I won't. It's my word Chloe, I can't break my word. I'm sorry. Go ahead and spread your rumour.

No one will believe you anyway!


From: Chloe Sullivan <csullivan@metu.edu> To: Clark <ckent@metu.edu>
Date: Wed, 10 Aug 2005 10:40 PM ET
Subject: Re: Hi!

You and your pesky morals Clark! Do we really have to play 20/20 with this?


From: Clark Kent <ckent@metu.edu>
To: Chloe <csullivan@metu.edu>
Date: Wed, 10 Aug 2005 10:42 PM ET
Subject: Re: Hi!

Yes.


From: Chloe Sullivan <csullivan@metu.edu> To: Clark <ckent@metu.edu>
Date: Wed, 10 Aug 2005 10:44 PM ET
Subject: Re: Hi!

Fine. What or who is this about? Lex? Is it something to do with me?


From: Clark Kent <ckent@metu.edu>
To: Chloe <csullivan@metu.edu>
Date: Wed, 10 Aug 2005 10:46 PM ET
Subject: Re: Hi!

Um, yes and yes.


From: Chloe Sullivan <csullivan@metu.edu> To: Clark <ckent@metu.edu>
Date: Wed, 10 Aug 2005 10:47 PM ET
Subject: Re: Hi!

Does Lana know anything about this?


From: Clark Kent <ckent@metu.edu>
To: Chloe <csullivan@metu.edu>
Date: Wed, 10 Aug 2005 10:48 PM ET
Subject: Re: Hi!

Yes.


From: Clark Kent <ckent@metu.edu>
To: Chloe <csullivan@metu.edu>
Date: Wed, 10 Aug 2005 11:01 PM ET
Subject: Re: Hi!

Chloe? Are you still there? What are you doing? I tried calling you but your phone's engaged.

Oh no, you're on the phone with Lana aren't you? Aren't you?!


From: Clark Kent <ckent@metu.edu>
To: Lana <llang@metu.edu>
Date: Wed, 10 Aug 2005 11:05 PM ET
Subject: What are you doing?

Lana? This may sound like a crazy thing to ask, but did Chloe just call you about the Lex thing? I kind of promised that I wouldn't tell anyone about his thing with Chloe, but since I'd already told you, I figured it was safe to promise. But if Lex finds out that Chloe's on his tail, I don't know what will happen!

Um, call me when you get this okay?

Love,
Clark


From: Lana Lang <llang@metu.edu>
To: Clark <ckent@metu.edu>
Date: Wed, 10 Aug 2005 11:07 PM ET
Subject: Re: What are you doing?

Clark,

I'm actually on the phone with Chloe right now. And yeah - she's pretty much got the whole thing figured out. What did you say to her? I didn't think it was going to be any use denying anything, since from what you've told me there really isn't anything to worry about, is there? I mean, Chloe likes Lex and Lex likes Chloe. Case closed, mystery solved.

Oh, Chloe says hi, and sorry about the underwear thing (she heard me typing).

What underwear thing?? Don't go to sleep because I'm going to call you right after this!

Love,
Lana


From: Lex Luthor <lex.luthor@luthorcorp.com> To: Clark <ckent@metu.edu>
Date: Thu, 11 Aug 2005 10:00 AM ET
Subject: Consider yourself quite dead

Clark,

I feel like I should have you killed for betraying my secret about Chloe, but I think I can find it in my heart to forgive you. Of course, your case was greatly aided by the fact that Chloe actually reciprocates my feelings for her. If she didn't ... well, I guess it wouldn't have been all that bad, but you should do well to remember that Luthors as a rule detest being humiliated or rejected - especially by a woman.

Count it your lucky day Clark. Seriously, go buy yourself a lottery ticket.

I am of course in an obscenely good mood today. Even one of my father's former drones has remarked upon it, and he isn't exactly the sharpest pencil in the box. I'm taking Chloe out tonight. Not that you really needed (or deserved) to know that, but I have a sneaking suspicion you will eventually hear about it anyway, curtesy of the Chloe-Lana line of communication.

Lex



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