Naughty & Nice

by Caro

A Christmas present for Ximeria. Thank you to Celli for the beta. Any remaining errors are mine. All feedback is greatly appreciated.

Disclaimer: Apparently I've been naughty this year, so nope, still not mine.

Dedication: Merry Christmas Ximeria. Getting to know you has been one of the truly special gifts this year!

A/N: A very special thanks to Celli for the quick and thorough beta. You do indeed deserve gifts of flowers, chocolate and naked Lex!

"I don't like Santa Claus."

"You don't like Santa Claus!" Clark sputtered, his entire face showing disbelief at the blasphemous statement.

Lex had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. There was something wrong in the fact that even sitting here arguing with Clark about childhood mythical figures, he was still turned on. Then again, he admitted to himself, the mere act of Clark breathing had a tendency to turn him on, and it would be understandable if it weren't for the fact that Clark seemed so damned innocent in his seduction. In fact, this entire afternoon had been the most fun Lex remembered having while engaging in such an innocent and entirely legal activity.

He'd come over earlier to drop off some papers for Martha Kent regarding a meeting that his father had scheduled after the holidays. Truth was, he was desperately seeking a respite from his father's intrusive interference in his life and business. The fact that Lexcorp took away Lex's attention from Luthorcorp and his destiny was a constant thorn in Lionel's side, and as such, he felt the need to pry constantly into all of Lex's activities. The castle, never having been a place of warmth or comfort, had now ceased to provide any kind of rest. It was only in the company of this teenage boy that Lex even felt the slightest bit relaxed anymore.

When he'd arrived, he figured he would drop off the papers and with any luck, be able to wrestle Clark away from the farm for a quick cup of coffee. Unfortunately, he seemed to have intruded on the Kent's annual pre-Christmas festivities. They'd been in the middle of decorating their tree when he'd walked in, and despite an attempt to extricate himself from what was decidedly a family moment, neither Clark nor Mrs. Kent had let him leave. Instead, he spent the afternoon stringing popcorn and decorating cookies. Even Jonathan Kent, in the spirit of the season, was somewhat friendly with Lex, even laughing at his all-purple Christmas tree cookies.

It had been more than nice, for once, being allowed to participate in a family activity instead of gazing longingly on the sidelines. As much as Lex tried to convince himself that he was beyond these things, there was a part of him that missed sorely the days when his mother was alive and his house would be full of the Christmas spirit. When his mother died, it seemed that there would never again be Christmas for Lex, but now, sitting on the couch next to Clark watching holiday specials while sipping hot cocoa and eating Christmas cookies, he felt, for the first time in a long while, the spirit of the season.

He also felt incredibly foolish at having gotten his heart so inextricably entangled with the boy next to him, who would no doubt one day break it, but for now Lex ignored those thoughts. He intended to enjoy Clark's company for as long as he had it.

"Lex, how could anyone have a problem with Santa Claus? He's Santa! He brings kids presents."

"No," Lex corrected. "He only brings presents for the so-called 'nice' kids, appointing himself the grand guru of good behavior on some arbitrary scale that none of us are privy too. Who employed him as the morality police? What right does he have to judge any of us?"

Clark stared at him incredulously. "You never made it to the nice list, did you?"

"Trust me," Lex smirked, his voice lowering dramatically. "I had a lot more fun being naughty."

He watched as Clark's face flushed with color, no doubt imagining what naughty things Lex could have been doing in his youth. He knew he was treading dangerous ground here, teasing Clark as he was. Not that their friendship wasn't often filled with inappropriate innuendo and ventures into each other's personal space. As it was, they were already sitting entirely too close together for two male buddies, Clark's thigh pressed up against his, but Lex wasn't going to complain. It was okay, he kept telling himself, as long as Clark remained oblivious to the flirting, he was allowed to continue it. He wasn't actually risking their friendship, or jail time. And the fact that he got a perverse thrill every time Clark blushed was to be ignored as one those things one doesn't think about when finding ways to inadvertently molest their best friend.

"You're a freak, you know," Clark declared solemnly after watching Lex for a few minutes. Lex took a sip of his cocoa and grinned.

"Fine, I'm the naughty freak boy that was ignored by Santa. You can continue to keep your eyes closed, but I for one will not support a dictator and a..." he waited for Clark to take a sip. "pervert."

Clark choked on his drink, coming very close to a cartoon spittake. Lex laughed, earning a glare from his friend.

"You're gonna pay for that you know." Clark threatened, though his eyes still glimmered with laughter.

"Just stating the facts."

Clark sighed, leaning over him to place the cup on the side table, and Lex's breath caught momentarily as Clark's sweater rode up and he was given a glimpse of honey colored skin. Calm down, he told himself. Flirting was one thing, but he was pretty sure Clark would be freaked out if he realized just how interested Lex was. Not to mention that Mr. Kent was still somewhere around, probably polishing his shotgun in hopes that Lex would do something out of line and he could protect his innocent son from the lecherous Luthor.

"So, what's your evidence?"

"Excuse me?"

"Your evidence for the Santa is a pervert statement." Clark grinned. "I know you; you must have a whole argument worked out."

"I don't need an argument Clark, it's self-evident."


"Come on, jolly old man, lives alone in the North Pole. All those elves. Don't tell me you think he's straight."

"Lex, he's married!"

"She's a beard, Clark." Lex whispered conspiratorially, his lips lightly brushing over Clark's ear as he did. He must have imagined the shiver that passed through Clark's body but acknowledged the one that passed through his when Clark turned, looking him deep in the eyes. He was suddenly aware of just how close they were.

"So he's a pervert 'cause he's gay?" Clark asked, his eyes entirely too serious.

"No." Lex shook his head. "He's a pervert because he trades toys for sexual favors."

Clark raised his eyebrows in askance. "What?"

"Oh come on Clark, you've heard it. Sit on his lap and he tells you if you're a good boy or girl. Gives you presents."

Clark snorted, his expression going from one of disbelief to one of open amusement. "I think you're the pervert here Lex."

"Fine, don't believe me." Lex pouted, though he knew he must look absolutely silly. Still, it was worth it for the renewed peals of laughter that burst from Clark's lips.

"Believe what you want. All I know is that Santa bought me gifts every year. Because I was a good boy. Who didn't believe that he was just looking to trade lap dances for gifts."

"He got you presents because you sat in his lap. If you sat in my lap, Clark, I'd give you anything you wanted too." The moment he said it, Lex knew it was the wrong thing to say. He felt his own cheeks flush as he met Clark's intense stare. The farmboy didn't look so innocent for once.

"Oh really?" Clark whispered, though the smirk in his voice was audible. Lex gulped. Nope, not innocent at all. Right now, he looked positively evil.

Lex had to stop this before it got too far. This was a mistake and perhaps Clark had too many cookies and was currently experiencing an insulin overdose. In any case, there was just no way he could allow this to continue, especially not when the Kents were just in the other room, and there was that shotgun still. Mr. Kent had to be done polishing it by now. "Clark, we---mphff--" he began in a warning tone only to be cut off when warm lips descended on his.

Clark tasted like icing and chocolate, and everything forbidden, but all rational thought had fled from Lex's head at the first tentative stroke of Clark's tongue against his. He pressed his thumb on Clark's chin, coaxing him to open his mouth wider, to allow him access. His tongue slid against Clark's, learning that mouth, the taste of Christmas and Clark, innocent and yet wild. Lex knew people who could kiss better than Clark, people who had raised kissing to an art form, but what Clark lacked in experience, he made up for in eagerness and interest. When they parted finally, he still clung to Clark, watching him from under heavy lidded eyes.

Clark's fingers stroked gently over Lex's lips. "So does this mean I get my Christmas wish now?" he whispered.

Lex felt the corner of his mouth twitch. "Only if you sit in my lap," he quipped back. Clark laughed, his eyes glinting with mischief.

"If you insist," he said with a grin, straddling Lex's thighs and pinning him against the arm of the couch. Lex moaned when he rubbed against him, their erections pressed together. "How's that?"

"Fuck, Clark." Lex bit his lip. "This is so not a bright idea." Clark was administering gentle kisses all over his face, kisses that shouldn't have been nearly arousing as they were, but coupled with the rocking of the body above his...Lex was trying very hard not to come in his pants, something he hadn't done since his early teen years.

Think non-arousing thoughts. Think non-arousing thoughts. Think Mr. Kent. With a shotgun. Think Mrs. Kent's disapproving glare. He recited to himself even as Clark's mouth once again found his. There was nothing tentative about this kiss; Clark learning this time what he liked and didn't, Clark's tongue fucking his mouth like he'd dreamed of fucking Clark. Someone whimpered and he couldn't tell which one of them it was.

"Clark!" Martha Kent's voice caused them both to freeze. They both quickly scrambled up, instinctively looking towards the kitchen door. Still closed. Thank goodness. She hadn't seen anything.

"Yes, mom?" Clark called back, and Lex was amazed at how composed he sounded. Not at all like he'd been making out with his best friend on the couch. Lex's own heartbeat had yet to return to normal.

"I've got another batch of cookies for you and Lex to decorate in a few."

"Okay, be right there..." Clark turned back to him, smiling. "Ready to decorate some more cookies, Lex?"

Lex groaned, letting his head drop back against the armrest. "You're going to be the death of me, you know."

"Mmmhmmm." Clark kissed him quickly before hopping off the couch. He held out his hand to pull Lex up.

"Do I look okay?" he asked, nervously tugging at his shirt. The last thing he wanted was for Martha Kent to realize what he had been doing with her son in here. His erection had thankfully vanished at the fear of being discovered; in fact, Lex thought glumly, he would be lucky to ever get it up again.

"Yeah," Clark teased. "Luckily you don't wear lipstick."

"I save it for special occasions," he shot back, shaking his head.

"Ooh." Clark hooted, pulling Lex in close for a hug. "What kind of occasions?"

Lex groaned once more. "You're incorrigible."

"You're the one who was trying to pervert Christmas. And speaking of which..."

"Yes?" Lex raised his eyebrows.

"You still owe me a present."

"Alright." Lex nodded, a little curious. Surely by now, Clark knew that anything he wanted, Lex would give him. There was a truck sitting his garage still with a bow on it, waiting for the day that Clark would accept it; Lex had racked his brain trying to come up with ideas for Christmas gifts for his best friend to show him how special he was to Lex. If there was something that Clark truly desired..."What do you want for Christmas?"

Clark laced their fingers together, looking into Lex's eyes as he spoke. "You."


"Yeah," Clark nodded. His face reddened but he didn't break eye contact with Lex once. "I want you to come here for Christmas, spend it with us. I don't want you to be alone. I want you...with me."

Lex was truly touched. More than anything he wanted to spend Christmas with Clark, but still, he didn't want to intrude on the Kent's family celebration.

"Clark, I don't think..."

"You said anything I wanted, Lex." The heartbroken look on Clark's face made Lex reconsider.

"Alright, if it's okay with your parents..."

"Yes!" Clark cheered. "It'll be fine with mom. You can even spend Christmas Eve here, stay the night."

"Somehow I doubt your parents will go for that."

"We can stay up and wait for Santa Claus," Clark persisted.

He grinned. There really was no defense against Clark's enthusiasm, and Lex was glad. Clark brought out parts of himself that he'd thought long dead, the child that once did believe in Santa Claus, and stayed up all night expecting magic. So what if it hadn't happened when he was a child, maybe it would now.

"Okay, Clark." He squeezed his friend's hand. "I'll stay up with you. But don't be surprised if you don't get anything in your stocking this year."

"Oh?" Clark queried.

"Yeah, I have it on good authority this year that you've been rather naughty."

Clark laughed, following Lex into the kitchen. "I'll have you know, I'm nicest when I'm naughty."


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