Title: Because He Wants To
Disclaimer: Don't own `em
Summary: See DMB quote below.
A/N: I love this song. I suggest you download it as soon as possible. Or better yet, buy Before These Crowded Streets. Listen to it a few times, it may take a while to warm up to, as it did for me, but I'm sure you'll like it. This story came to be one evening when I was watching Will & Grace, and suddenly the following quote popped into my head.
Maybe I'm crazy
But laughing out loud
Makes the pain pass by
And maybe you're a little crazy
But laughing out loud makes it all subside -Dave Matthews Band "Spoon"
Pete's laughing at Chloe. Chloe's laughing at Lana. Lana's giggling. My God, they're hysterical.
I've got to get out of here.
We've been in the Torch office for 10 hours. Well, Chloe's been here for 13. I got in about 12 noon - a perfectly good Saturday spent doing chores at home and work at school.
"Guys," I shoulder my bag, hoping they'll get the hint. "I'm gonna take off. Call me if you need me tomorrow, Chlo."
Chloe nods at me solemnly. "Yes, Cl-" and she's off again. The girl can't even get the "ark" out before she bursts into another fit of giggles.
So now I'm walking. Not to my house, that's for sure. Hmm, looks like I'm headed to Lex's. Wonder how that happened.
Damn, I wish I could laugh like them. I can't though. For the past few weeks, I've been feeling this tension building up inside. If I could laugh, I bet I'd feel better. I just can't.
First, it was the farm. Well, that's pretty much ok, now that Mom's working for the Luthors. Then it was Ryan. I couldn't save him, and oh jeez, that hurt so much. It's so unfair. On top of that, Chloe and Lana blowing me off for that guy, and now it feels like even Pete's more interested in my abilities than me.
But Lex has always been so calm and cool and there for me when I need help. Dependable. Helpful. Generous.
Oh, wow. I didn't just think that - but he IS. All smooth pale skin and lean muscle and . . . and I'm done now. No more fantasizing about Lex. Especially now that I'm standing before his personal drawbridge.
Normally, I avoid sitcoms. They're generally unfunny. But tonight, I'm hoping a rerun of Will & Grace will provide me with a laugh.
I want to laugh. The desire hit me earlier today when I heard Enrique and Cook laughing about something in the kitchen. No doubt at my expense.
At any rate, I'd like to laugh. Have something to laugh at. Someone to laugh with. Like Clark. Except not. Because Clark, who was always laughing at me, doesn't laugh so much anymore.
Clark, always quick with a smile and chuckle is more solemn, more sober. Granted, God hasn't given him much to laugh about lately, but I wonder how much I contributed. Did I dampen his heart with my less-than-good cheer? It saddens me to think so, since he has lifted mine so greatly.
Ah, Karen and her cheap lesbian jokes. Nope. Not funny. Jack is twirling. I need a drink.
I head to my study to pour a glass of brandy before returning to the lounge.
I know it's him for a number of reasons.
One, no one who visits me calls me Lex, save my father, who is in Metropolis.
Two, no one visits me this time of night.
Three, no one says my name the way he does. Questioning, even though he knows it's me. Affirming, like he thinks I need reassurance. Hesitating, as though he's worried I don't want him here.
As if I could not want him here.
I glance at my watch before turning, bottle in hand. "10:27, Clark. Why aren't you in bed?"
"It's only 10:27," he says, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "And I'm not eight anymore."
"True." Technically. But he's so not legal, he may as well be.
"So," Clark sits heavily on one of my chairs. "What're you up to?"
"Yes way?" I can't believe I'm having this conversation.
"It's just that I don't think I've even SEEN a TV in here."
Silence, and I wonder where this is going.
"Coming?" I ask.
"Lounge. It's where the TV is."
He follows me, and we sit on a couch.
"You got TiVo?" His grammatical regression is starting to bother me.
"Yes," I say shortly.
"So I've heard."
I turn to look at him, and suddenly his lips are on mine, softer than they look. Before I can get some suction going, he pulls back, smiling. Then laughter.
He's pleased and chuckling like he just heard a great joke.
Lex looks shocked. Like that was totally out of left field. I've never seen him look so NOT in control. It's great, and I can't stop laughing.
"Clark -" he sputters.
"What do you think you're doing?"
He looks mad now.
"Lex, it was just a joke."
Lex is turning paler, if that's possible. He looks so upset.
"Yeah," I pause. "I thought it'd be funny. Come on, Lex. I'm not gay and neither are you."
Anger and - what? Disappointment?
"Lex, I'm sorry."
"It's ok, Clark."
He's quiet now. Maybe I should leave. But no. I need to know.
"Did you like it?"
"Yeah, Clark," he says tiredly.
I don't know what to do. Goddamn it, Kent, stop laughing, at least. You'll hurt his feelings.
A very not funny joke. Although you wouldn't guess it by the crystal laughter in the room.
He wants to know if I liked it. Yes, damnit, I liked it. If you'd stay still, I'd kiss you until you stopped breathing. Stopped laughing, at least.
Slowly he pulls himself together.
I turn to face the television. Blind Date. No thanks. I press mute.
"Clark, I'm going to bed. You're welcome to stick around and watch TV, eat, whatever."
I stand and walk toward the door. Suddenly his hand is on my shoulder, and then I'm being spun around and his lips are touching mine and I'm wondering idly how he got to me so quickly, but then I stop wondering because his lips are touching mine.
"Mmm," Clark murmurs.
I pull back. "You're not gay."
"Then why are you kissing me?" This is the question of the freaking millennium.
"'Cause I want to."
Because he wants to.
That's good enough for me.
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