Sixty Six

by EscapeToCity

SLASH.Clark/Lex.please review if you can


Author: EscapeToCity

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Clark, Lex & their world belong to the AOL Time Warner universe.

Note: I was in the midst of writing a new chapter in the 'He Was Marked For Murder' story and somehow got sidetracked into a much happier frame of mind. The next chapter for that series will be complete by next weekend. This story is a one-shot.

Summary: Layer it with chili, mustard and a smile (at the right temperature).

Best regards,

@ Waveland

If there was one thing about Lex Luthor, it was that he didn't like chili dogs. Just the idea of the messy, greasy piles of fat made him ill. All that cheese and onions and God--

--the hot dog itself--

He knew what went into those things. It was much worse than people could imagine.

Too much. Too complicated.

When he was seven, his mother had taken him to the World's Fair in Coast City; the trip was great fun, the two of them riding all the roller coasters and seeing all the great new cars and computers...The World of Tomorrow, it was called...Lex ate it all up...

Except chili dogs.

Lillian Luthor adored the abomitable things...she gobbled up three while they sat in the Pavilion of Dreams. Although Lex loved his mother greatly, more than anyone in the world, he couldn't help but retch as she smeared chili around the plate, mustard everywhere, her eyes aglow in passionate gastronomic bliss...

He'd been sick for days.

He thought chili dogs would always make him sick.



"Clark? Is that a chili dog?"

Lana...that damn girl...who told her she could set up a hot dog stand in!

"Yeah....want some?"

His mouth was dripping. His mouth. His teenaged, male, underaged mouth...

For the slightest moment his stomach reeled, memories of cold compresses and ginger ale rushed about him...



"Oh, gosh, Lex. I just got chili all over my shirt. Darn!"

And off came the cotton tee Clark Kent had been wearing. And there was heaven itself. The definition. The lines. Lex wanted to lick every part of Clark clean. And keep licking.


It's all over him...

Suddenly, Lex wanted a big, big bite.

Then...everything turned yellow and strong and Lex was so damned hungry he didn't care.

Lex passed out today at the Talon. I am worried. I mean, he's a strong guy. He works out and stuff. That fencing stuff he does is cool.

He's strong. Not like me, of course. But...umm...I mean...I am not exactly normal.

So yeah, he passed out and Lana was calm and some jerk laughed and I almost fried him with the heat thing and Chloe showed up and started babbling about industrial waste at the Luthor pork processing plant and how Lionel's environmental evils had killed his own son. Lucky for all of us, he wasn't dead.

Oh, man...I dropped it all over the place...

Lex didn't like chili dogs.

I wondered why. Everybody liked them. I Dad liked them, my Mom cooked them (but would never eat them...said they were bad for her figure), Pete scarfed them down after games....

Chili dogs were like having it all. Every great taste in one foil wrapper. Being able to live to the fullest, without any guilt. They represented pure freedom, just like cotton candy and wet dreams...

Err...too many of those lately, Kent.

I really thought I had stopped thinking that way. I mean...I am an average guy, at least in my mind. I think about girls and food and trying to make it through the school day. I've got friends, the best parents in this world, and the coolest barn/bedroom of anyone in school...

But I'm still not normal. Never will be.

It still hurts. Not like last year, but maybe always.

Lex still hasn't come around. He looks sad. He always looks that way. Even when he's smirking at me or laughing that weird, fake laugh....he always looks empty. I don't mean like he's got no heart or brain...I've checked to make sure...he's got a huge heart. An even bigger something else...

Stop....I mean...I can't think like this. He's my friend. He's lots older than me...and I know, in truth, I don't know if I could handle being non-human and...and...and...


I don't even know if there's any gay guys in Smallville. Pete says Kyle the Hermit is gay. I couldn't tell when I dealt with him. Chloe says there's something odd about Whitney, too. Something about Marines and submission...News to me. Chloe says Lana could be the Queen of Lipstick Lesbians....I didn't even understand what she was saying...

Lana asked me the other day.

She asked me.

She wondered why I wouldn't open up to her, tell her what was going on with I had saved her from the tornado, all that...She kept asking and asking and asking about everything and I tried to change the subject and get her focus on our science paper but she kept asking and asking and...

"I don't know, Lana. Look...we've got the finish this chapter on Meteorology. This paper is twenty percent of our grade. The next section is about the optimum temperature at which humans live comfortably."

I was startled when she picked up the book and threw it a few feet away.

"I don't care about that right now, Clark. Open up to me. Work with me here. Please...I...I...just want to know."

Her hair was beautiful and her eyes were shining and her skin was that cool tan color like my Mom's new purse and I knew I should have gotten hard or something and just grabbed her and told her I loved her, wanted her.....but...

"I can't."

"Can't what, Clark? Tell the truth?"


"I try to be a good person, Lana. Isn't that enough?" she do the unexpected....she kissed me. All soft and nice and I felt a little warm....

But no fire in the eyes or in my crotch. She knew it the second she pulled back.

"It's true. Is it him, Clark?"

"What's true, Lana? Who are you talking about?"

I'm a terrible liar.

"I come over here everyday for six months trying to figure out whether we could have something and now you act naive? I don't deserve this, Clark Kent. I really don't."

She was hurt. I didn't want to lose her as a friend.

"I'm sorry."

"You're always sorry, Kent. I don't have to tell me everything....just tell me this...have you and Lex...have you, you know?"



Although every night I wanted to. Every moment I wanted to.

"But you want to, don't you? You want Lex."

I tried to stop them but I couldn't. Waterfalls pouring out of me onto the wooden slats. I was afraid of my tears...would they become acid someday and hurt someone?

Her expression shifted dramatically...

"Oh, Clark...c'mon....I'm sorry. I really am. It's just--"

"I led you on, Lana. It's not your fault."

She wiped the tears from my face. Like a concerned older sister. Friend.

"It is my fault. I shouldn't have pushed the issue. What you do is your business. I just had to know if I should move on."

I got up and walked over to the window. It wasn't dark yet.

"I'm scared, Lana. What will happen to me?"

I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"What do you mean?"

"Guys my age....don't have an easy time with this kinda know?"

"Nobody will mess with you, Clark. People at school think you're great. A little weird, quiet and secretive, but great."

That's good at least. I was always afraid they thought I smelled like a barn.

"Will they feel the same way if I...if I....umm...'come out'?"


"I honestly don't know, Clark. I'd like to think people in Smallville aren't small-minded, but--"

"You don't know."

She shrugged.

"I'm afraid my Dad will hate me."

"Clark! Your Dad is fantastic. He'd probably be a little freaked out but he'd never hate you. You gotta know that."

More tears...

"Maybe....but what about Pete and Chloe? The football players?"

"The football team still thinks you nailed that Jessie girl--"

A pause.

I shook my head. No. No. I'm such a wuss.

"--Pete's your pal, Clark. Always will be. He'll probably act mad but in reality, he'll just be confused, you know? He'll just wonder about what motivates you to feel this way and for Chloe...she...well--"

"Still kinda likes me?"

Lana chuckled a bit.

"Yeah, she does, although she'd never admit it. The dance, and all..."

Yeah. The dance. I had left her. Abandoned save Lana, who I couldn't even get a woody for...Clark Kent, you're a fool!

" should I do?"

"I don't know, Clark. I'm no sage when it comes to relationships, nor, for that matter, happiness--"


"Look, Clark...whatever you're gonna do, think it through. Be very sure. And cafeful. Lex comes from a whole other world than you."

I'm not exactly from around here, either...

"Yeah...I know. I'll be careful."

"Approach him honestly, Clark. And tell your parents. You don't want to hurt them."

"No...I never want to do that."

"As for school and all those people...well...believe me...if you go through with this, there might be a lot of giggling and jokes, maybe some nasty asshole will say something really two weeks Muffy Chandler will have the clap again and they will have forgotten all about you and your new identity."

She smiled. It made me feel better.

"My new identity?"

"Yep. It's time to end the secrets, Clark. Live in the day. Talk to Lex."

He's coming around. There's a crowd. I want to yell at them to get back. They are all so fascinated to see the great Lex Luthor sprawled out on the couch.

"Hey guys....give Lex some room!"

Chloe poked me in the ribs...
"How's our patient?"

"He's fine, Chloe. I think he's just worn out. Work, you know."

For a minute I watched her try to read my eyes.

"Sure, Clark, I totally get that. Work. I gotta get over to the Torch now should tell Lex to stay away from Luthor Pork products...the stuff is lethal!"


She was already out the door.

"--Lex didn't eat a hot dog."

Lana was watching me closely as I placed a cold towel over his forehead.

Lex began mumbling about something...


"Lex, it's me, Clark."


His eyes opened fully and I could see every dream there. Every hard-on and every hidden bedspread. I hoped no one else could tell.

"Yeah, Lex. I'm here. You passed out. Just lie there, OK?"


Lana came from around the back of the bar and handed me a tall glass of ice water.

"This should help, Clark. You alright, Lex?"

He looked up at her. Something passed between them I didn't understand.

"Yeah, Lana...." he looked back up at me....I realized I was holding his hand. "I'll be fine."

I felt his other hand on my chest.
My bare chest.
It tingled and my nipples responded.
Lana made a quick save--

"We've got some extra Talon tees in the back, Clark. I'll run and get you one."


"Thanks, Lana."

He was trying to sit up. I was real worried so I scanned his head again, to make sure he hadn't hit it against anything...make sure there was no tumor or anything...dumb Clark,'re not a don't even know what a tumor looks like...don't get excited, Clark...don't hurt him...please, fire...

"Clark...why are you looking at me like that?"

Caught. Damn.

"N-N-Nothing, Lex." I was giggling nervously... "I just wanted to make sure you didn't have a knot on your head."


His hand moved just slightly. Farther. Down. don't let me get...

"Here's your shirt, Clark. On the house."

"Thanks, Lana. I'll help you clean up the mess."

"No you won't. You need to drive Lex here home so he can get some rest. I can't have my silent partner dying on me now, can I?"

Lex smirked. That amazingly smug, horny-as-hell, all-knowing and delicious smirk...

"Of course not, Ms. Lang. You're right. Clark..would you please drive me home?"

Anythime. Anyplace. Anywhere. Anysecondminutehourdayweekmonthyeardecadecentury. And then some.

" Dad..."

Say yes, moron!


"Of course, Lex. Yes. C'mon."

I helped him to his feet. He moved away a little bit.

"I can walk, Clark. Just please get me home."


The crowd had dispersed and things were back to normal at the Talon. As we exited, I watched Lana as she wiped down the counter. Her eyes were wide, she was smiling...I watched as she mouthed three words silently--

"Go for it."

I have to admit, I adore Lex's cars.

This one was a true beauty. Mercedes convertible, '99 or so. Wow. Me, Clark Kent, driving a car worth over one hundred thousand dollars.

And next to a guy who was, well...priceless.

Who had also fallen asleep, to my chagrin...

"Lex..." I whispered.

No response. He was out cold. He really had been working too hard.

I consoled myself with the feel of the air and the lingering scent of chili dogs. It wondered if it was a good idea to have the top down...I could barely feel hot or cold these days but I didn't want Lex to catch cold.

He looked alright though....snug in his jacket. His eyelashes groomed...his lips parted just so...

God, I wanted to kiss him.

Keep your eyes on the road, Kent!

The fields of McCurry's farm passed on both sides. Bad crop this year. Drought then deluge. What would my parents think when I told them? I knew they loved me but would they change that once they found out I was in love with a guy? Would they look at me differently? Would they throw me out?

No. Never. I mean...being gay couldn't be worse than being an alien, right? I laughed-- kinda sadly-- to myself.

I pulled into the Manor. Nobody anywhere. Lionel had decamped for Metropolis a few weeks back. Seemed he got tired of the sticks. Plus, they had some kind of merger happening and he wanted back in the corporate brouhaha...

I was glad he left. He scared me. Always asking questions sounds stupid, but it felt like he could see through my secrets....dumb, Kent, dumb...I mean...Lex's father is blind!

He was like Desiree...she didn't want Lex, she just used him as a means to her ends...I wondered if Lionel saw Lex as anything more than a tool...

I wish my Mom hadn't begun working for him. She had to drive into the city two, three times a week sometimes. And he had her at the plant endlessly hassling Chloe's dad...

But Mom seemed to thrive on the job. Really come into her own in a way I never thought she could. I was proud of her.

I hoped I wasn't dissapointing her or Dad with the thoughts I was having right at this moment...carrying Lex up the stairs, cradling him in my arms....

I loved him. And I was still hungry.

I lay him in his huge bed, doing everything I could not to nestle in there with him. He needed to rest. Tomorrow was another day of takeovers and power struggles and craziness for him... For me...I had two tests--
--and I still hadn't finished my paper on meteorology and humans-- and who knows what new meteor mutant to fight...or new power to conquer...

I left Lex alone in his bedroom and went downstairs. Still no one around. The Luthor kitchen was gigantic...
Pots and junk hanging from this candelabra looking thing...a fountain! Food everywhere....

I wondered why Lex never seemed to eat. All this good food.

"Well, Kent, I doubt Lex would mind if you whipped something up." I said aloud and happily....I wanted to wait until he woke up to leave...make sure he was truly alright...

I opened the pantry, which was more like a bedroom, and hit the motherlode. Wolf Brand. Cans of it.

There were notes on the cans. 'For garden staff and maintenance' Lex must be crazy giving this stuff away to his employees...

I opened the three-tiered fridge and found....yay! Hot dogs! Cheese! A nice spanish onion begging to be cut. Big bottle of French's, unopened.

I'm so glad my parents taught me how to cook. "Someday the woman in your life will thank you..."

Well, Dad....I sure hope Lex does thank me.

I made my chili dogs and sat down at the big glass table in the breakfast nook. Just as I was about to take the first bite, I heard him--

"Clark! Is that a chili dog?"

He was standing in the doorway to the kitchen dressed only in a pale lavender robe and boxers...and it was open, and I nearly dropped my food again...

"Yeah, Lex. I'm so sorry...I should have asked to use your kitchen. Man....sorry...."

"I rarely use this kitchen. It is kept fully-stocked, though. Clark....Clark...oh...a chili dog?"

I couldn't tell if he was turning green....or red. I nodded.

Alright...he was red...flushed...


He seemed focused on the food. Like he was starving.

"A chili dog?"

Oh, man...don't let him pass out again.

"Yeah, Lex."

And then the world caught fire--

"...You want some?"

In like three seconds we were kissing and it was so gross and tasty and the hottest thing I will ever feel-- well, until we actually, you know-- and there was chili on his tongue and in my mouth and on the floor and then he grabbed the back of my head and he is so beautiful and I need him so much and I don't give a damn about what people will think...

"Damn, Kent. You sure can burn."

I smiled and he smiled and this kept going for a nice while....

I think Lex likes chili dogs after all.

My paper is nearly done.
I'm up in the loft and looking out the window. I can still taste mustard in my mouth. Lex in my mouth. I don't know if I can ever eat anything else the rest of my life.

I'm going to try to have "the talk" with Mom & Dad later. I have to pick the perfect moment. Everything will be out in the open and no matter what the outcome is, at least I won't be hiding anymore.

I'll never hide again.

Now...I need to call Lana about science class, too....tell her what I figured out....that chili dogs taste best cooked on a sixty-six degree day. That driving with the top down feels best at sixty-six.

Kissing feels best at sixty-six.
Jumping in a heated pool naked feels best on a sixty-six degree day.

...That on a sixty-six degree day Lex Luthor told me he loved me.

Yeah...I need to call her and see what she thinks. She'll probably laugh her head off. And be happy for us. I wonder what Pete and Chloe will do.

I wonder what grade Mr. Jones will give me.


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