The Difference Between the Lightning and the Lightning Bug

by Meret


Title: The Difference Between the Lightning and the Lightning Bug Author: Meret
Category: Humor, Slash
Rating: R
Summary: Lex and Clark discuss word choice. Disclaimer: These characters are owned by the WB, and Gough Millar. No profit or infringement is intended. Email:
Website: This was inspired by a discussion at TWoP. Though after they read it, they may want to deny any and all knowledge. Thank you to my incredible beta reader Tarchannon. Any errors are mine alone.

The Difference Between the Lightning and the Lightning-Bug by Meret

"Clark, lift your legs up for a minute."


Lex laughed slightly, pleased. Clark was sprawled out like the centerfold version of the Illustrated Man, and his expression looked like the Cheshire Cat on ecstasy. Lex couldn't resist kissing him again, still greedy for more - more taste, more touch, more Clark. He deepened the kiss, pushing inside those incredible lips, teasing and stroking his mouth. He now knew the person beside him inside out, and it still wasn't enough. Giving one final suck on his tongue, Lex pulled back and sat up in the bed with regret. "I know you said you were okay but I want to check."

"Check what?" Clark said opening his eyes. The rest of him remained blissfully still.

"Your anus. That was considerably rougher than I'd planned for your first time."

Clark winced, looking uncomfortable.

"What? Are you hurt?"

"No. I'm fine."

Reassured, Lex propped up on one elbow, and looked at him lingeringly, noticing the resulting blush with interest.

"It's just," Clark hesitated, blushing even more. "Do you have to use that word?"

"Actually, that was the least offensive choice I could think of. What would you prefer I use?" He glided his hand lightly down Clark's side, watching him shiver in response.

"I don't know. Just something less . . . like health class."

"There's the ubiquitous hole," he said, appearing to consider the matter. "But that always sounded like I was going spelunking. Rosebud is another, but I'm really not the Barbara Cartland Goes Gay type. Besides, that makes me think of Orson Welles, which spoils the mood entirely. Would you prefer shit chute? I've never cared for it myself, but growing up on a farm, perhaps you --"


Lex had never thought someone could literally burst into flames from blushing, but this was Smallville after all. He should stop if he didn't want to take any chances. But teasing Clark was just too much fun. He swallowed his amusement and leaned back, positioning his pillow against the headboard. The only way Lex would get through this with a straight face was if he stopped touching him. He wasn't skilled in repressing happiness; the opportunities to practice had been rare. "There's always ring piece, canetta, back door, or bosco boulevard. Darkstar sounds like I'm fucking an elf. I refuse to call it your bun-bun, gee-gee, or worse yet, your starfish of love. And saying mangina would make me laugh so hard I wouldn't be in any condition to --"

"Mangina? You're making that up." Clark peered out from behind the pillow he had clutched over his face somewhere around bosco boulevard.

"I swear on my father's life," he said, raising his right hand.

Clark rolled his eyes, unimpressed.

"You still haven't proposed any alternatives, I notice."

Clark ducked under Lex's arm to rest against his chest. He rubbed his cheek back and forth gently, enjoying the feel of Lex's skin. "What's wrong with plain old ass hole? Or does that make you think about needing a helmet light too?"

"Ass hole." Lex swirled the words in his mouth with the concentration of a grand champion wine taster. "Assss hooole. It lacks that je ne sais quoi in the area of description. However, the 's' in ass is nicely hissable in extremes of passion, and the 'o' in hole is ideal for moaning." He felt Clark vibrate against him with soft laughter "I accept your proposition."

"I thought you did that earlier," he joked.

Lex ignored the comment and continued. "Now may I please see your ass hole?"

"I don't know. We'll have to negotiate. What do I get for it?" Clark's eyes sparkled as he grinned up at him.

Lex smiled slowly. "That depends. How do you feel about the word rimming?


"The difference between the right word and the almost-right word is the difference between the lightning and the lightning-bug." Mark Twain

Author's Notes:
The name Rosebud is pivotal in the movie Citizen Kane by Orson Welles.
This story is set in 2005.

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