Disclaimer: Not mine. Expologies to Paul Simon, whose song isn't mine, either!

Many ways to make Clark Kent blush

"Let's make the blood rush to his cheeks," said the WB

"A rosy flush that's really quite amusing to see

"Come up with an idea or two or three

There are many ways to make Clark Kent blush

I said "It helps to have Lana nearly nude

But it also works when things are misconstrued

There is subtle and there's also crude

There are many ways to make Clark Kent blush

Say Martha's a turn-on, Jon

Talk about meat, Pete

Show him a new toy, Chloe

Smile eating a banana, Lana

I said, "I know just why you're grinning and waiting

(Ooh, the possible rhyme here would send this up a rating)

They said, "We understand it's obvious but you've missed a way to make Clark Kent blush."

I said, "Since it's in your head let's stop pretending.

"You know perfectly well it's the obvious ending."

And then they said "Sorry, we're not bending.

Till you've listed the last way to make Clark Kent blush."

Say Martha's a turn-on, Jon

Talk about meat, Pete

Show him a new toy, Chloe

Smile eating a banana, Lana

[Bridge] You're not letting me out of the recording studio until I say it, huh? This is a case of artistic integrity and not walloping the obvious, and I am willing to hold out for my principles! Whaddya mean, without chocolate supplies??? None? Grumble. Mutter. Sigh. Fine, fine, fine, but you explain it to Paul Simon. And I just want to make it clear that I'm not doing this willingly! [bridge ends on a discord]

Joke about sex, Lex!

[mutters during repeats and fadeouts] It's not as though it's subtle or unexpected or...oh, wait, sorry, yeah, this is the WB.