Everything is Better with Godzilla

by mobiusklein

Lex waited impatiently for his bride as he stood in front of the priest. Finally the bride broke into the church by ripping out one of its walls and roared. Godzilla could find no bridal dress big enough for its massive girth so it was extra pissed. Several chairs and people were crushed by its enormous feet. It was also extremely angry that there were no high heels for feet that shape and size. A blast of radiation breath struck one of the guests' cars and set it on fire.

Lex looked at the behemoth with love in his eyes, shining with tears. He had loved Godzilla ever since it had came out of the Kansas sea and wreaked havoc on both Metropolis and Smallville because everything it did was beautiful and right even if there was massive property damage and countless lives were lost. As everybody revered and loved Godzilla, he knew that marrying Godzilla would make him also revered and loved.

Clark showed up and sat in the back row and watched the love of his life munch on one of the terrified guests and moped that he had finally lost the one he had been chasing for years. It didn't matter that Godzilla had this strange problem of having hordes of people dying around it like Whitney Fordman and other suitors, was extremely destructive and seemed to attract all sorts of creatures like Gamera, Mothra and Mecha-Godzilla to the area. Godzilla was the love of his life and everybody else was sloppy seconds. He knew that it was too late and that nothing could stop this. His heart was so broken.

The priest nervously said, "I now pronounce you man and monster."

Godzilla roared its approval.

Clark began screaming, "Godzilla! Godzilla! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The End

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