Title: You're Not Dreaming
Rated: NC-17, PWP (yippy!)
Notes: Odd for me. First person pov, from Clark. Also, this is sort of a cliche-fic. LOL. It's a popular cliche because it's so hot though, so... hopefully you'll excuse me? Set uh... Sometime in season 3. Before Shattered.
[ you're not dreaming ]
It wasn't supposed to go like this. I was just calling to see how the meeting with his father went. I was just calling to see if he'd made a decision. I should have known better than to call at eight in the morning when Lex just spent however long in Metropolis last night, doing God knows what. But. I never was all that patient.
I'm so glad I'm not.
The phone rings six times before he picks up. There's a clatter, a curse, and then a very, very muffled response. "Mmf."
I smile, because honestly. Sleeping Lex? Pouting, sleeping Lex? Really adorable. "Hey." I couldn't keep the affection out of my voice if I tried.
"Mmm," Lex moans, and he must be stretching. "Hey, Clark."
There's something in the way he says that, the way he draws it out, that sounds like warm honey. I've never really understood how honey can sound like anything, but I've read books that say that, and this has to be what they're talking about. "Sleepyhead."
"Out late. Sorry." There's a pause between every word and I just grin wider. I wonder how long it's going to be before he actually wakes up, and how surprised he's going to be at the fact that he's on the phone.
But there's only so much amusement I can milk out of Lex at eight o'clock in the morning without feeling guilty. "Sorry. I hope things went well last night. Call me when you wake up, okay?"
"Nooo," Lex says, and my God, is that a whine? Because I think it was, and that is just. Lex is going to hate himself for that when he wakes up. "M'was dreaming."
I lay back on the couch and stare up at the barn's ceiling, counting the grains in the wood. I bet Lex is laying in his bed with his eyes still closed, and I smile. "Yeah," I ask, keeping my voice low. Maybe if I'm quiet he won't notice he's not still dreaming and he'll actually tell me what his dreams were. "What about."
And then he sighs. This long, low, pleased sigh, and that's it. I'm frozen. Because if that's not a sigh associated with sex, then I don't know what is. I've seen movies. I've even seen those kinds of movies. With Pete. I'd always been embarrassed to be hard around him, but as I can feel myself growing hard now the last thing I am is embarrassed.
Then he speaks again. "You, Clark."
I can't even. I'm supposed to say something, right? Ok. Think. Puppies. Chickens. Eggs. Dad. Ah, yes. There it is. Good old Dad, always there to kill an ill-timed erection. "About me?" God. Why does my voice have to crack like that?
"Mmhmm," Lex says, his voice barely audible. And again with the honey. My God, every time I look at honey I'm going to get hard. This is going to make eating breakfast with my Mom a little strange. "Best. Dream. Clark."
Ya know, I can't help it if my hand goes there. I am not always in control of where my hand goes. Okay sure, yeah, if I was really thinking about it, there are plenty of places for my hand to go other than there, but... Lex's voice! And. Lex's sighs. And. Think? No. Can't. Monosyllabic, even. Though. That word wasn't. "I should..." I pause because I have to swallow. My voice is not supposed to sound like that.
"You came over, uninvited. I love it when you do that, Clark. I love it that you don't wait for me to invite you. That you just insinuated yourself into my life like that."
My eyes open. "I insinuated myself into your life? God, you make it sound like I forced you to be friends with me."
"No," Lex says, and I can hear the easy smile on his face. It's the same smile he gets when I'm fretting over Lana. Like I'm a toy that he's batting around. That should annoy me, right? How comes it doesn't? "No, Clark. I like that you feel comfortable enough to just assume you're welcome."
I swallow, because now I'm feeling anything but comfortable. I'm feeling uneasy. I'm feeling nervous. I'm feeling horny as hell, and that's just. Totally not helping. "Am I not?"
"Mm, believe me. You're always welcome."
And fine. So that's it. I'm just gonna give it up. Because I am unbelievably turned on by this tone on Lex. By his voice, by the way he's breathing. By him. I'm turned on by Lex, and I'm sure that'll be very confusing later, but right now? I'm not minding all that much. "So... your dream?"
"I was sitting at my desk, bored out of my mind, as per usual, and you walked in like a gift from God." A gift from God? Wow. Even half asleep Lex is five million times more smooth than me. "All hard lines and soft eyes and smiles. I think you even glowed."
"I glowed?" I'm sorry, that's cheeseball, I can't help but laugh at that.
"It was a dream, Clark. It had that ethereal quality to it." Why can't I use words like that? I'm awake and I still would never use a word like ethereal.
"So why was I there? What did we talk about?"
His laugh sends a shiver all the way through my body. I don't know how he does that. How he makes his laugh sound like a seduction. I'm not jealous of Lex for a lot of things, but that's one of them. "Oh, Clark. We weren't exactly talking."
Oh. God. "Then. What were we... I mean--"
"I wonder if your skin is as soft in real life as it was in my dream," he says, still sort of mumbling. I'm starting to think he's never going to wake up. I'm starting to hope he doesn't. "It can't be, can it? Like velvet."
"Um. I. I don't know. I should probably go--"
"I can't figure out what you taste like though. It was. It was subtle, but ethnic. Like hummus. But. Not exactly hummus." He sighs again, and God, I hope that grunt was because he was stretching. Please. Don't do that again, Lex. Don't do it again if you want me to keep my sanity intact here. "I can still taste it."
My eyes are closed and my head is spinning, and I think this is the most turned on I've ever been in my life. And that includes the time I accidentally-- accidentally, damnit-- saw Lana after she took a shower. The telescope got stuck. "Why were you... why can you taste me?" And God. Could my voice sound any more breathless?
"Because, I'd pushed you up against the wall and your neck was right there, so..." Lex breaks off again and damnit, damnit, damnit. Just this soft, tiny, barely there grunt. He's probably just turning over, but. Does he always have to sound like sex? "I've always wanted to, Clark. You had to know that."
"No. I didn't." Okay, so I should have timed that better, because I said it right in the middle of running my hand down my cock and I think the words might have been lost in what might have been a groan.
"I love this dream. This is the best dream, Clark. I've always wanted to tell you this but I never knew how. And then I knew I couldn't. It'll probably make it worse when I wake up, but God, it feels good to tell you how much I want you."
And I want to say it. I want to say it's not a dream. That he's awake, that I'm hearing this. That I never admitted it to myself, but I've wanted him for a long time too. "Tell me again." And man, I don't even think that was audible, and I have superhearing.
A little trapped moan comes out of Lex and I gasp, because man. This is really happening. I'm not even sure what this is, but it's happening, and God. Is this phone sex? I have to bite my lip to keep from coming right there. "I want you, Clark. I've wanted you since the day we met, when your lips touched mine and brought me back to life."
I should not be in the barn. The barn is too open. The barn has no doors. I should be inside my house, with my door closed, and maybe a few tons of mattresses barring it. Thank God my parents are gone for the next few hours. "I think I have too, Lex. I just. I didn't know."
"God. Those words out of your mouth." I didn't know it was possible for Lex to sound like this. I didn't know it was possible to feel his voice in my bones. "Say it again, Clark, please. Just once."
I can do this. I can do this. I can say this. If I can just open my mouth. "I want you, Lex."
Oh. Fuck. That sound, right there in my ear, like he's right here. And with my eyes closed, that's not hard to imagine. I unzip my jeans and please, please if you're not awake yet Lex, please don't wake up yet. "I've wanted. To hear that. For years."
"God, Lex," and oh. Did I just say that? Do I really sound like that?! With my eyes closed I can replace my hand with his, I can hear him breathing into my ear, his breath brushing over my neck.
"When I pushed you up against the wall, Clark, you were so hard. You were so fucking hard, and it was for me. The way you looked at me. God." His voice. I would give up my powers forever if I could hear his voice, just like this, for the rest of my life.
I can't help the moan that comes out of me, and I'm too far gone to even care how needy it sounds. "I love the way you look at me, Lex. I always have. It took me a long time to figure out what it meant, but... Never stop looking at me like that."
"I couldn't if I wanted to, Clark. I've tried."
It's so hot in here. It's hot in this loft, and there's no air circulating, and I can't breathe. Funny how two minutes ago I was contemplating running back inside to get a flannel shirt. "Never stop."
"That's not going to be a problem Clark. I can't help myself. Whenever I get you in my sights I can't help but drink you up. Your legs, your thighs, your ass. Your abs, your arms. God, your face. You have the face of an angel and the lips of a whore."
I can't believe he just made me laugh, and I can't believe he just made me even harder. How did he do that? "The lips of a whore?"
"Do you know how many times I've had to physically restrain myself from kissing you," he whispers. He should always whisper. Always. "To stop myself from shoving you up against the nearest hard surface and just fucking taking you?"
Wow. I've never heard that noise come out of my mouth ever. "I wish you would."
His breath is shuddering in and out and I think mine is too, and I can't decide if I want to just hurry up and get this over with already or draw it out. "You tasted so good."
Swallow. Swallow Clark. You should swallow. And breathe. "I wish I knew what you tasted like."
"I wish this was real... Clark, tell me this is real." This is as close to vulnerable as I've ever heard him, and it only makes me love him more. And I do. I do love him. I don't know what kind of love that is anymore, but. I do.
"It's real," I say, but I know he'll still think it's a dream. I don't know how he can sound so alive and restless half asleep, but I know he still thinks he's asleep. "This is real, Lex. You're really on the phone with me, and I really do want you."
"I want to hear you come, Clark. Even like this. Even when it's not real. I want to hear you come." And wow. Like I wasn't already so close.
"It is real, Lex, and God, I'm so close..."
"I wish you were here. I wish I could taste you, feel you. I wish I could watch your face when you come..." It's broken off with a stuttered groan and that's it. That's just it.
I come with his name on my tongue and I swear to God I can feel him next to me. I think he comes at the same time, maybe even in the same instant, and I can't help but smile that maybe it was me that pushed him over. That maybe the sound of me did the same thing to him that the sound of him did to me. "Wow."
Lex's laugh is beautiful. It's so rare, that carefree laugh. I think sometimes that I'm the only one that ever gets to hear it and for a moment I feel really proud of that fact. For a moment I feel incredibly protective of that fact. Like I don't want him to laugh like that for anyone else, ever again. I know that's selfish, but God. I want that laugh all for my own.
"I should go, Clark," Lex is saying, his tone wistful, regretful. "I think I have to wake up soon."
I sigh. "Lex. You are awake."
Lex laughs again, and this time I don't like it. "No I'm not."
"Yes. You are." Please, Lex. Just believe me on this.
"No I'm not and I can prove it," Lex says, and I can hear the smile on his face. "Because if I was awake I could never tell you I love you, Clark. Because if I were awake? Nothing as good as this would ever happen to me."
"Oh, Lex." And God. Just break me, Lex. Break me in two.
"Goodbye Clark. I'll likely never dream this again." And the click sounds so final in my ear. It sounds like the slamming of a door.
I can't help but be pissed at myself that I didn't tell him I loved him back. Because he's convinced he's dreaming, and I couldn't give him that. Even though it's true. Why couldn't I give him that?
It turns out not to matter five minutes later, when I'm still holding back tears and trying to force myself off of the couch and the phone rings. I answer and I know I sound like hell. If it's anyone that knows me in the slightest bit they're going to know something's wrong.
And I freeze. Because that's another thing I've never heard so nakedly from Lex before. Fear. "Hey, Lex."
"Clark I just talked to my banker in Zurich. Why would I talk to my banker in Zurich if I'm dreaming?"
And I start to laugh. Even though he's terrified, and it's the first time I've ever heard him sound so, I start to laugh. "That's because you're not dreaming, Lex."
"This isn't funny, Clark. I think I've gone insane. I think I've lost my fucking mind."
I just. Can't. Stop. Laughing. "You haven't. Want me to prove it?"
I smile, even though he can't see it, but I know he'll hear it. "I love you too, Lex."
"Come over." He sounds like he's in a trance. Like there's flashing lights surrounding him and he's being told to walk towards the light.
I feel like doing a jig. "What?"
"Come over here. I need to see you. I need to see those words come out of your mouth."
I'm grinning so hard my cheeks ache. It's the best pain in the world. "Only if you promise me something."
"Anything." He's so breathless. Yes. I've decided. Breathless Lex is my favorite Lex.
"When I get there? Slam me up against the nearest surface and just fucking take me."
I hang up to what sounds like him coming again. Amazing I can do that with one sentence. I can't wait to find out what I can do with more.
A Disclaimer of Sorts: Ok. I feel the need to cop to this now that it's clicked in my head. When I was writing this, it just came out of me. However, as I was reading over some fic, I was re-reading some of Te's work (specifically Subtext) and do you know what I realized? I'm not entirely sure I got my Clark-voice from Clark. In fact, I'm nearly positive I didn't. I'm pretty fuckin' sure I got it directly from Te. That wasn't intentional, and I apologize if it appeared to be stepping on toes. No one's said anything, but I did feel the need to say here that yes, I do see that, and I fully admit to the fact that I was most likely heavily influenced by Te. Can we call this an homage instead of theft? LOL.
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