by Darkwing Duck


Scene: Lois, Lana and Chloe are at Lana's apartment above the Talon celebrating the end of another school year... A lot of tequila is doing the rounds and they've just ventured onto the topic of guys...


Chloe: Okay, okay, I've got a question for y'all... How'd you lose your virginity?

(All of them laugh...)

Lois: Well Clo, since you asked the question, you're up first!

Chloe: Well fair is fair... It was about 3 months ago, me and Bart were at the torch, alone, on a Saturday morning sorting the files when one thing sorta led to another...

Lana: Wow Chloe, I never pegged you as someone who would do it in public! But then again, I never really pegged you as someone who would do it...

Chloe: Hey!

Lana: Well it's true...

Chloe: Well miss outspoken, you're up!

Lana: Okay... Here goes nothing... I know you guys thought it happened with Jason, but no, it actually didn't. It was Clark.

Lois: Whoa, Clark? As is Clark Kent? As in farmboy-do gooder-plaid wearing Clark Kent?

Lana: Yeah... Oh don't look at me like that Chloe! You did it in the Torch!

Chloe: Well now you have to give us details!

Lana: You remember we were together in the beginning of the year just before Clark went to Met-U? Well just before he left, it happened. In his loft.

Lois: So you're telling me you lost your virginity to Clark Kent? This is surreal. Okat wait a minute, this means CLARK ISN'T A VIRGIN ANYMORE???!!!!

Lana: Well yeah...

Chloe: So Clark lost his virginity to you?

Lana: Not exactly, no.

Lois: What do you mean, "not exactly, no"? Did he or didn't he?

Lana: He didn't.

Chloe: Who'd he lose it with then?

Lana: You remember when he went away to Metropolis a few years ago? Apparently some girl seduced him...

Lois: Whoa!

Lana: And again when he and Lex went to Hawaii last year.

Chloe: So basically you're telling me Clark Kent has more sexual experiences then all of us in this room?!

Lana: We don't know Lois story yet, so we can't really say...

Lois: **Oh God! Here it comes. How am I supposed to tell them I'm still a virgin? Especially after what Lana just said about Clark! "It's not that I didn't have a chance to lose it, it's just..." A crap. I can't say that! They laugh their asses of! "THE GREAT LOIS LANE - STILL A VIRGIN!!!! HA HA HA HA HA..." It was some guy in my senior year, I can't remember his name...

Lana: That's just like you Lois...

Chloe: Getting back to Clark... Is he well hung?

Lois and Lana: CHLOE!

Chloe: We all know about my little Clark-crush... I'm just interested...

Lois: What would Bart say?

Chloe: Bart knows I love him... Besides I'm over Clark. Unlike some people I know.

Lana: I guess I'll always love Clark...

**Some thing in her voice told me that she wouldn't admit that had it not been for the sordid amount of tequila in her system...

Chloe: And we all know Clark will always love Lana...

**As Chloe said that a jealous pang shot straight to my heart. Wait. A what? I'm not jealous over Clark loving Lana! Must be the tequila. I'd better take it slow.

Chloe: ...So is he? Well hung that is?

Lana: Let's just say there's more than just a great bod hidden under all that flannel!

**Don't I know it! I thought of Clark as I first saw him: naked in a cornfield: YUM... Dammit, I REALLY MUST STOP DRINKING!!! Especially if it makes me think Clark Kent is yummy...


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