Lana Lang at 80

by mobiusklein



The old woman with her white hair in a bun padded around the nursing home in her pink slippers, using her walker which had tennis balls on the bottom for extra traction. She was wearing a pink sweater and a black dress. She went up to one elderly gentleman who seemed to be awake and sat down next to him.

"Did you know that Superman is madly in love with me? That I was the girl who got away?" she said, nodding to herself. "When I broke up with him, well, he had to settle for people like Lois Lane, Chloe Sullivan and Lex Luthor."

An orderly passing by caught sight of her talking to the new arrival and sighed, "Could you please stop pestering the others with that story? You've told them a million times about all these famous people having crushes on you. It's no wonder people think you're senile."

"I'm NOT senile. When I was younger, I was a beauty and everybody wanted me. Everybody, why every single girl at my school wanted me, too. Oh, how they wanted me." Lana smirked. "Men swam from Europe to Kansas to be with me."

The orderly rolled his eyes at the old lady's grandiose claims. "Whatever." He knew very well that Kansas was a landlocked state despite her many stories about the Port of Kansas.

"This necklace is the only thing I have left of the love of my life," whimpered the old lady. "It was the necklace that had a piece of the green meteorite that . . . Oh, I shouldn't talk about it anymore, it has been seventy-seven years."

"But it's clear," the orderly pointed out. I bet it's a part of a chandelier, he thought.

"He made it clear, somehow. He gave it to me before he abandoned me for his destiny."

"I thought you dumped him," said the orderly, exasperated at the blatant way she kept changing the story to get the most sympathy.

"Then I had to struggle through life as the wife of the second most powerful man of the United States. Boooohooooo."

Meanwhile, the elderly gentleman had fallen asleep.

"I think you better go and join the others in the recreation room and stop interrupting other people's naptime."

Lana pouted with her wizened lips pursed together. She had forgotten her dentures so her mouth looked slightly sunken in. "If I had still magical powers, I'd teach you some respect!"

"Yes, yes."

The End



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