by Korey

Title: Fear
Author: Korey
Summary: These are the times when Lex is afraid Pairing: Clex
Rating: PG
Distribution: let me know first.
Disclaimer: I'm asking the WB if they'll give the boys to me for Christmas. So far, no reply. Feedback: dancinguniverse@comcast.net

There are times when Lex doesn't want to know Clark's secret.

Most of the time, Lex is innocently curious. Clark is a friend who is obviously keeping a secret, and anyone would be curious to know what. Clark is a mystery. Usually the apple pie, honest, open, nave farm boy, he sometimes changes. Sometimes, Clark doesn't seem innocent at all. Sometimes he seems dangerous. Sometimes he seems more weighted than Atlas, more responsible than Jesus Christ himself. Sometimes he seems like he can take care of the whole world, and sometimes he seems like just a lost high school kid who needs a friend. Clark is mercurial, and he intrigues Lex.

Intriguing Lex is dangerous. Lex has tried for years to be more than Lionel Luthor's son: to be Lex, himself and no one else. But he is a Luthor, and there are times when Lex considers whether Clark's secret might hold value or not, and, if it does, what Lex would do with that secret. There are times when Lex forgets to be something more than Lionel Luthor's son, and he calculates how to break Clark's secret. There are times when he doesn't consider whether he might break Clark as well.

It is at these times that Lex feels the Luthor in him, the man with no heart, just rock and thinking, calculating machinery, and he is afraid. Because these are the times that make Lex wonder if he, Lex, really exists at all, or if the humanity is just a protest against reality. Maybe Lex is a faade, and inside of him is a contractor, a stockbroker, a CEO, and nothing really human. These are the times that Lex wants Clark to keep his secret far away. Because Lex doesn't know what the hollow stone inside of him would do with that secret. He knows that to that man of stone, Clark is not a human, not a friend, but a possession, an asset. And Lex is frightened of what the stone man would do to Clark.

These are the times that Lex doesn't want to know Clark's secret. These are the times that Lex is frightened of himself. These are the times that Lex is afraid.

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