Notes: Inspired by an article I read in the newspaper. Many thanks to Tors for the beta!
Disclaimers: Not mine, am broke, sue at your own peril.
"Hmm?" Clark continued his assault on Lex's neck. It was Saturday, and after weeks of planning and plotting, he had managed to lure Lex out of his office and away from work. Clark was finally getting the overworked young CEO to relax with the surprise picnic, and he wasn't going to stop when dessert was about to be served. Besides, they were sheltered and remained relatively hidden behind the large tree they were sitting underneath.
"God, Clark." Lex moaned, his body arching closer towards Clark's even as a hand pushed against Clark's chest. "We've got to stop."
"What?" Clark raised his head and looked at Lex, eyes wide. "Why?" Lex was never adverse to outdoor sex, at least not the last few times they've tried it, so what was his problem this time?
"We've got an audience." Lex replied calmly, looking over Clark's shoulder, his head resting against the tree.
Clark's head spun around so fast that he almost twisted his neck in the process, if that was possible. His wide eyes met those of their audience.
"Moo." Their audience reprimanded, looking at the couple in mild distain as she continued to chew on her meal. "Moooo." Well, what are you waiting for? Get outta here, she seemed to say, with her head nodding in a 'shoo' motion.
"I don't think she likes us." Lex said.
"It's just a stupid cow, Lex."
"Moooo!" It was definitely louder than the last two 'Moos'.
"I think she objects to being called stupid. Now apologise to the lady." Lex's tone was serious.
"Apologise! Lex, are you serious?" Sometimes, it was hard to figure out who was the alien in their relationship.
"Absolutely. You just insulted her, so now apologise."
"Moo." She nodded her head in agreement.
"See, she agrees with me."
"I didn't know you speak her language." Clark scowled.
"Oh, I'm a man of many talents, you should know that by now. And stop delaying the inevitable and apologise for insulting the lady." He couldn't believe it, Lex was serious.
"That cow - "
"Now, no need to be rude." Clark swore he saw a twinkle in Lex's eyes. "Now, apologise." A grin was threatening to appear on the otherwise serious facade.
Clark narrowed his eyes and stared at his lover, sure that he was being played.
"Moo." That did the trick, and Lex broke out in laughter.
"You bastard!" Clark swore, laughing as he tackled Lex, reducing the young millionaire into helpless laughter as he tried to fight off the ticklish assault.
Clark finally let Lex have the upper hand, lying on the grass panting as he tried to get his laughter under control. Lex was sitting on top of him, an unguarded smile directed down at Clark while his hands restrained Clark's.
He should smile like that more often. Clark thought before raising his head and kissed Lex. "I love you," he murmured against Lex lips.
"Moo!" His plan to show Lex just how much he loved him was interrupted by their audience, who seemed affronted that they had forgotten about her.
Lex laughed again, pulling Clark up with him as he stood up. "Come on, let's leave Bessie alone with her lunch and continue this back at the mansion."
Clark glared at the cow as they packed up what was left of their picnic and headed towards Lex's car.
"Clark," Lex started the ignition, turning to look at him, a genuinely happy smile on his face. "I love you, too."
Clark knew he probably looked like an idiot with the grin that he was sure was etched into his face, but he didn't care. Maybe I should come back and feed Bessie.
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