More Letters Home

by mobiusklein

Dear Bio-Daddy,

When I told you to take care of your marriage and go back to your wife, that was a test. You weren't supposed to go back to HER, you were supposed to scold your wife and tell her that of course I would be your first priority. After all, you abandoned me even before I was born. At least my parents didn't leave me until I was three. I can't believe I was thrown away by two of my fathers. You owe me eighteen years of love and devotion and I want compound interest!

I should be first priority over your wife because I am related to you by blood while she is not. I am your DAUGHTER. After all, my aunt is less important to me than you because you are my biological father and thus more closely related to me. It doesn't matter that she spent 13 thankless years raising me and that your wife has spent nearly that amount of time putting up with you and bearing your children. It is clear that your obligation to me and my devotion to you should outrank both of theirs.

You have the opportunity of a lifetime to make things up to me. Weep, sob, honk. Since my `sister' threw me out by leaving her house and going into hiding to save her life without a THOUGHT to how I would be inconvenienced as to where I would live once I came back, you may have the honor of taking me into your house. I'm sure there will be room enough for me once your wife and my half-siblings have been hustled out the door. With a little luck, I will be introducing you to your future son-in-law within the year and you will be the father of the prettiest bride of Smallville and proudly walk her down the aisle. Your soon-to-be ex-wife and my half-siblings may also attend.

Your daughter forever and ever, Lana

Dear dead mom and dead cuckolded pseudo-dad,

I no longer have anything to say to you as I have replaced you with Clark. You abandoned me for the past fifteen years anyway, so I am still angry with you but I will sweetly forgive you and no longer spend every night scolding you for doing so. I will now spend every night scolding my "sister," my ex-boyfriend Clark, and the new object of my greed, er, desire, Lex for not being there for me in my time of dire emergency. I prefer talking to live people anyway as they coo and pamper me and shower with gifts to make me be quiet about you two.

No longer your daughter, Lana

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