She loved her son. Even with his asthma and other problems, she loved him. Much more than his father did. She wasn't horrified by his baldness, it just made her love him more.
When she found out she was pregnant again, she almost had an abortion. Lionel didn't know the first thing about being a father. He saw it as grooming an heir, not raising a child. She went to the first appointment without telling Lionel and heard the heart beat through the machine. She knew then that she could never get rid of a healthy child.
Things were wonderful during her pregnancy. She had been hesitant to tell Alexander, but she was surprised by her son's generousity. He was looking forward to being a big brother. He would be fabulous with him, until Lionel turned them against each other.
He saw the new baby as a way to correct the `mistakes' they had made with Lex. Sometimes she wanted to shake him and tell him that nothing with Lex was a mistake. You couldn't choose how your children turned out. Lex was special and caring, and he was her son.
The day Julian was born was the second happiest of her life. Nothing could ever diminish the joy of your firstborn. She held him in her arms, listening to Lionel order around the doctors and nurses. She knew then, that she had to do whatever she could to protect Julian from his father.
She wasn't going to have her sons turned against one another. She wasn't going to see Julian be as ruthless as Lionel.
She did what she had to do.
It was easy, easier than she had thought. Her sister had never approved of her marriage to Lionel. She knew some people with less than stellar scruples. All she really needed was a child, preferably a dead child.
She never knew where it had came from. She didn't care. That might have made her just as bad as Lionel, but their was no time to dwell.
The morning of Julian's christening, she went into the nursery, picked him up, and gave him a kiss. Then she handed him to her sister, who snuck out the servants entrance. She never saw him again.
A few minutes later, her screams brought in Lionel, Lex and half a dozen servants.
Everyone was too shocked, too scared, to notice that the dead baby in her arms wasn't Julian.
She had protected Julian from his father, but nothing could protect Lex.
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