Protecting

by Ang Griffen

They don't understand. They don't understand what it's like to be invisible, or how beautiful Amy is, or how much I hate anyone who tries to hurt her. I lie in that shrink's chair with some ancient Dr. Ruth lady trying to blame this all on my mother putting me on formula too early or something, but that's not it at all.

Lex didn't understand what a gift he was given, to have Amy's love. She would have done anything for him, and he just didn't understand. Didn't understand that it was a gift, something to be treasured. Not something to be thrown away like trash.

Amy's the only one who ever saw me, but even she never saw me like I wanted her to. I wanted her to see me like she saw Lex, which my Dr. Ruth shrink says is wrong too, but she doesn't understand. She doesn't understand that nobody else will ever see how precious Amy is, how wonderful she is. No one else will ever be able to protect her like I could.

I tried to make Amy see that; I tried to give her what she wanted. All I wanted was to see Amy happy! I wanted to give her everything she desired, and keep her from all the ugly things in the world, but because no one else could ever understand, I couldn't. I couldn't keep people from picking on her; I couldn't give Amy Lex. I failed, and they've seperated us.

They don't understand how much I love her. My shrink says it's okay to love my sister, but not that much, but I think that's bullshit. I wasn't doing anything wrong, just trying to make her happy. I was just trying to get her to see how much I cared.

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